Wake Me Up From This Complicated Mess

2008-10-08T12:40:00.000+08:00

2008-08-02T00:07:00.003+08:00

I got some songs from Fiona, like ALOT of songs. I've been trying to get songs from everybody, so I can extend my song database. Damn I need a bigger Ipod. I just started to listen to three artistes, and I'm beginning to love them. Ashanti, Angels and Airwaves, and Jason Mraz. I didn't like Mraz at first, but after listening to his new album, whoa, I'm like totally in his songs now. Lovely acoustics. A&A's music is damn good, I love how they start their songs. Really good music. Ashanti's R&B, I started to listening to this genre, and I realised that it's really good for studying. Nothing much to ramble about, all on my lj. See y'all soon.

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Decided to ramble more. I seriously am screwing up my spiritual life. I don't know why I keep doing this. I really sincerely honestly want to get back to God, but it's so friggin hard to concentrate when no one's around to help you. I feel like a non-christian already. Now I know what it means to be "hanging by a thread". I'm literally hanging, cos my whole spiritual life, all my Sunday mornings, are gonna be spent in vain, if i don't turn around my spiritual life now. Everyone's not caring anymore. Studies is priority, neglecting relationships. The fact that I talk to my brother less than I talk to the drinks stall aunty says something about my r/s. I really love my family, but I just can't seem to get the fact that i'm in such a "perfect" family, born a christian, loved by family, everything's so picture perfect. Sometimes I'd really want to be in some sort of crisis, so that I can cherish what I have. Otherwise I'll take them all for granted. I don't want to continue like this, living this mundane life on Earth, where everybody is worried about money, and where people are so cold and heartless to each other. Competitive to see who gets into a better uni, who gets a higher rank in the army, see who gets better grades. What happened to friends and family? Those of you who have a gf/bf, treat him/her with love, and really do so, and i'm not talking about sexually. Love with everything you've got, cos this world is becoming more and more unloveable.

Hope that someday it'll change.

2008-07-31T21:17:00.003+08:00

So Achiever's Night last night, it was awesome to see all the CCAs come together to... uhm, eat. Haha. I must say everyone dressed up really really nicely. I think I was underdressed. Take a look at the pics and you'll know. My laptop's quite laggy, so I dont' know when the photos will be up. The food was really good, but a tad too little variety. We really really ate alot. I was so damn full already, but I knew that if i stopped eating, I would regret it. Haha, the only really really awesome thing was the chocolate fondue. I swear everyone was drinking the chocolate. Everything just dip inside. It was really good. Well the "programme" was a little short, and very anti-climax. After a video in the ballroom, Mrs Tan addressed us, and talked for a while, and then we left to the restaurant. Then after eating, nothing already. Everyone just left. Lol. We took a lot of pictures, and ate alot. You wouldn't believe how many lobsters Jason ate. I have a photo of it you go count yourself. haha.

Anyway, alot has been happening in my class. With one suspended from class by principal, one gonna be expelled by principal, one suspended from class by teacher... A havoc man. Today had 2 tests, both screwed. I didn't really bother. Don't know what's wrong with me these few days, never study already. Lol. Better get my act together soon. So this Saturday invitational tournament for girls, and this Sunday CIP at Orchard! Can't wait..

2008-07-28T21:53:00.004+08:00

I have so much freaking work to do, I don't know what I'm doing in front of my laptop. I still have to do the damn presentation, which is due tmr, and I'm freaking tired. Came back from school like, an hour ago, and I'm shagged. Gym training from 5-630, and freaking ran so much today, cos it was like PE F&C, Mr Ang kinda quarreled with Ms Liew cos we were supposed to use the softball equipment. Agh, who cares, we're gonna play on Wed anyway. SO MANY THINGS TO DO, AND THERE'S ACHIEVER'S NIGHT THIS WED AT FURAMA, WHAT THE HELL I'M SO DAMN STRESSED OUT.

So things to do:
1. Integration Tutorial (due this week)
2. Partial Fractions Tutorial (due last week, shit!)
3. Differentiation Revision worksheet (due this week)
4. Applications of Differentiation Revision Worksheet (due next week)
5. Poetry Project (due tmr!)
6. Pride and Prejudice Project (due next week)
7. Econs Revision for essay lecture test (this thurs!)
8. Volleyball Boys Information Sheet (due last week, OMG)
9. Bio DNA Tutorial (not due yet, thank God)

TESTS COMING:
1. Poetry (tmr)
2. Econs Essay Lecture Test (Thursday)
3. GP Essay Test (Thurs)

I'm so freaking screwed. Shit. Die TTM. I'm not Superman, by the way.

2008-07-27T22:14:00.003+08:00

My cousin just came back from Australia, and he bought the havaianas that I asked him to buy. :D Red colour, damn nice. Gonna wear it soon!

I am pierced..

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Okay fangyi said the picture was too disturbing for him, and asked me to put up something cuter, knowing that i like red, he asked me to put this up. So don't say I'm paedophile or gay, he's the one. Okay, but the boy's cute. HAHAHAHA (:

2008-07-27T00:15:00.003+08:00

Went for meet the parents today. I must say it's quite good, cos I finally got feedback from the teachers. Well, overall it was all positive, except that I could do much better. And Mdm Goh said I was very restless in class. Hahaha. Saw Mrs Fadzleen, Mdm Goh, Ms Ng, Mr Sas, then left. Went lot 1 for lunch, and after went to meet Fiona. Headed to town for BATMAN, which was incredulously awesome. The ending was a lil' boring, but overall, very very good movie I must say. One of the best plots of all time. The Joker is a sick bastard. Really sick in the mind. Hahaha. After that walked around Orchard, and I bought a watch for 10 bucks. Quite nice, I really like it!

So I decided to start studying again, after a 3 day break of not doing tutorials and h/w. So went to Yewtee Macs with Michelle and studied from 930-1130. I was super hungry, so I bought noodles, and I'm eating it now. I have practically nothing to blog about, just that I enjoyed my day today. (:

2008-07-25T17:31:00.000+08:00

Now I have 2 blogs! click here.

2008-07-24T22:21:00.002+08:00

Rain, rain

As the rain pours I feel
My body soaked by God's tears
Yet, I feel ironically dry on the inside
The rain masks my tears,
No one can tell, the hurt inside
is mounting up to a large thunderstorm
which one day will release it's fury
Onto the people that hurt it's owner
I would stay in a glasshouse and curl
up into a little ball, cosy as I will be
With or without you, that's up to you.
I don't want to stay in this rain all alone
To feel the cold wind blowing against
my skin, and to feel the howling go deep
into my soul.
All alone, deep within
The sorrow hurts, the hunger burns
The anger stirs, the mind turns
The heart melts, the stomach churns.
When will the wheel stop turning?
When will the soul stop wandering?
when he has found her.

My dad's back! Just took an hour's ride to airport T2, and had Sakae for dinner. Teppanyaki! Quite nice, but not enought to fill my stomach. My brother went for eye checkup today, doctor says he has to go for surgery to strengthen his cornea, or be put on the waiting list for cornea transplant. See what the doctor says, he's going for another checkup on Tues.

Happy Birthday Ber Han!

2008-07-23T22:32:00.002+08:00

Today was shit. Ultimate terrible day. First, my CT made us (the front row) stay back to talk to us. I was quite upset cos we were questioned about the 2nd row and 3rd row's results. Apparently we are constantly too disruptive in class. I'd agree with that in term 2, but this term, we all toned down already, yet we're still being questioned. I'm starting to wonder if people are being prejudiced against us. Anyway we voiced our opinions already, wonder if it'll channel through. By the way, for those who don't know, we retainees and some others always sit in the front row, and SOME PEOPLE just make alot of noise (irritating but HILARIOUS), so we're classified as front row, the noisy bunch.

Then after that, headed for the 9th Student Council Investiture. Quite interesting I must say. A lil' touching, but otherwise, I was dying to go for training.

And it wasn't all a beautiful sight. The more I go for trainings, the more I've come to realise something. Maybe it isn't so much about your passion, about your love for the sport. But more for the people around you, doing the same things with you. As I start training with the J1s, I find myself in a different wavelength. I just can't seem to connect, or even bond with them. They're like living in their own world. And, there's a damn age gap already, is it their mentality, I'm senior J1? I feel so distanced from everyone. All their little cliques here and there, how to bond you tell me? I talk to them, no one wants to listen. All sit still. Zuokun say something, all start moving. Really, am I that incapable? Sometimes I feel damn helpless and useless. The feeling sucks, when you're alone, and like, everyone else has their cliques, and they can choose not to listen to you.

I've been thinking about stepping down from volleyball, and I'm still waivering on my decision. I mean, since my batch graduated already, I shouldn't stay too. And somemore I really don't feel for the team anymore. Maybe it's the people, I'm not sure. I just feel like I go training for the sake of it, different from last year. And I feel i'm failing as captain, and Uzuo can do a much better job. So why not? Things to ponder about during my long long breaks.

My dad's coming home tmr! Going airport with my mom to pick him up, and have dinner there. Can't eat popeyes! I'll convince them for Swensens.

Oh My God, the pianist upstairs should fix his damn clock. He plays the piano at unearthly hours. 11pm on weekdays, 8am on weekends. I swear if i move out i'll smash his piano first.

2008-07-21T23:28:00.002+08:00

I've come to realise that life isn't all about studying, all about volleyball. I realised that life is about having a relationship with God, developing it, and nurturing it to become meaningful. And I'm definitely guilty of only talking to God when i'm in trouble, I just forget God when times are good y'know. I'm guilty of that, I admit. But I want to change all that. Really. I felt really really small last night, like a grain of sand, in the middle of the shore. But yesterday, I came upon this really really really beautiful song on my ipod by Corinne May, Five Loaves and Two Fishes. It's a song about a story in the Bible, where a boy gave up his lunch of 5 loaves and 2 fishes to Jesus, and he multiplied it to feed 5000 people. Coincidentally (or not), yesterday's sermon was about this too. I felt like I was useless yesterday, till I heard this song, and I know that my God, is able to use any amount of talent or potential you may have to change the world, so never, ever doubt your little capability. This video made me cry, take 5 mins just to watch it, will you?

Five Loaves and Two Fishes

A little boy of thirteen was on his way to school
He heard a crowd of people laughing and he went to take a look
Thousands were listening to the stories of one man
He spoke with such wisdom, even the kids could understand

The hours passed so quickly, the day turned to night
Everyone was hungry but there was no food in sight
The boy looked in his lunchbox at the little that he had
He wasn't sure what good it'd do, there were thousands to be fed

But he saw the twinkling eyes of Jesus
The kindness in His smile
And the boy cried out
With the trust of a child
he said:

"Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and my inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all to feed them all"

I often think about that boy when I'm feeling small
And I worry that the work I do means nothing at all

But every single tear I cry is a diamond in His hands
And every door that slams in my face, I will offer up in prayer

So I'll give you every breath that I have
Oh Lord, you can work miracles
All that you need is my "Amen"

So take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and my inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
I hope it's not too small

I trust in you
I trust in you

So take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and my inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
No gift is too small

2008-07-20T22:38:00.002+08:00

Dear God, I'm sorry, I'm unable to do it. I can't live with the fact that masquerades are all around me when I go out on Sunday mornings. I can't possibly see how to continue when no one's committed. I don't see why somethings are meant to be, when friends become more important than family, when phsyical food more important than spiritual food, when hate is more popular than love, when sex is more worth than true love, when lusts control the media. How do I live in this damned world, when most of the believers have succumbed to worldly pleasures. I'm sorry if i'm starting to doubt the whole motion of this religious thing. It's not that I doubt you God, I know you're so very real in my life, but sometimes it's so damn hard. Y'know? No one's there to guide me, no one's there to help me. How do I continue dragging myself out of bed every sunday morning like that? I have no, for lack of a better word, incentive, except the ever-so-blasting music that the band plays. Somehow I sense that the technicalities have finally caught up to them, instead of being anointed and playing for the sake of an audience of One. Jesus I love you, teach me to be a christian. Teach me how to live this life that's pleasing to you O God.

2008-07-19T23:58:00.001+08:00

Invitational tournament today. We won it all. Haha. But it's a lil' unfair, we're A division, and there was C and B boys, so if we didn't win, we ought to be ashamed of ourselves. Clifford and Jeremy played today, and I must say they're quite good. Got a lil' pissed at the team at first, but after a while was too tired to care, and we were already playing better by then.

I don't know what's wrong with me today, getting upset for every small matter. Majority of 'em were late, and I got pissed. I had to do everything myself. Gahh. After training washed the whole damn cooler by myself, and went home alone. Sometimes i wonder if I should have stayed in volleyball, or I should have stepped down. A part of me regrets staying.

Studied at yew tee macs, just came back. I've been doing a lot of lit and maths lately. I'm expected to score at least 2 As for promos. So these are the two I'm banking on. Econs and Bio, if i get a pass, I happy already.

My dad's flying off later, off to Taiwan, and I'm quite worried cos there's a flood there, and typhoons of all sorts. He doesn't go away much, so I'm not used to it.

Sometimes you can't make it on your own. That's when Jesus comes in. I thank God for you, Jesus.

2008-07-17T22:06:00.002+08:00

I can't believe I got caught for long hair. What the hell right. Never mind, i'm gonna get it cut this weekend. I wanna catch The Dark Night and Hellboy. I'm deprived of movies lately. This saturday invitational tournament! So far the schools involved - Zhenghua Team A and Team B, Bukit Panjang Team A and Team B, PJC Team A. Quite excited, it's a chance for us to poach players. Haha. We're sending in a team too! And we haven't played in like, years? So we'll probably lose I think. Gahh.

Today the rest of the J1s had listening compre, so us retainees got together. Okay it's just me Shazwan Eunice and Weijie. We played tennis and I won all of 'em! Haha, kudos to the tennis lessons i took last year. And thanks to Christopher for lending me your racket. My stupid brother left it at the club. I'm now really really tan. As dark as Athiyah already. YEAH. Of course lah, 3 hours in the sun, you think? And I freaking wore my sunglasses, so i have a damn tanline around my eyes. HAHAH. Some panda.

I swear lit really makes you think a hell lot. About existentialism, life, purpose, spirituality, blah blah blah. Ohmygawd i'm like feeling highly intellectual now, either that, or really dumb.

Random thought - I feel like drinking beer now.

Thanks Joy for your constant encouragement. It means alot to me. (:

2008-07-16T19:41:00.004+08:00

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So we headed down to Pulau Tekong today for our learning journey. It was on the whole very fun, because i finally got to see sides of the army BMT that the public eye wasn't allowed to see. We got into this container building thingy, and there was this simulation for firing a M16 into a screen, with a target that is simulated to be 100m away. And they allowed us to go try. I went 10 times. It was so damn fun! We had a mini competition, see who could hit the centre of the target the most times. Each time we reloaded, was about 6 shots. Waay cool i tell you. The food ration also, amazing. It's one piece of bag, like a non-transparent ziploc bag, but inside, there's all kinds of things. Pasta, mee goreng, longan, you name it, they have it. And after that we saw the obstacles each cadet had to go through, to pass some SOC, i think its Standard Obstacle Course. It was interesting, but overall, the highlight was the simulation of the shooting range of M16. It was damn cool I tell you. I had many headshots, and many bullseye, so much so that the guy facilitating recommended me for marksman. ;) Haha, alright enough with the bragging, let's go on to pictures!

This probably sums up my day in a nutshell. Couldn't take any pictures there, so we took it on the boat. Pulau Tekong was interesting. But the ride back was better. :D

2008-07-15T23:25:00.002+08:00

Humans, whether in crowds, or alone, will in one point or another feel lonely. That is one of the many emotions that a human is able to feel. The human mind is then stretched, when it feels more than one emotion at a time. It is sometimes confused too, when it sometimes changes emotions very quickly.

I'm sure you've heard of people feeling lonely when he's amongst a group of people. And ironically, people can feel secured even when he's alone. Why? Is it because he's feeling that no one cares for him? He's like a backup plan, he's insignificant in the eyes of his "friends"? No one really knows. Because as time passes, he has learnt how to play charades - putting up a mask to hide the true feelings that is so easily rejected by society, even better, his "friends". Call it maturity, he has learnt to hide his emotions very well. Unlike some people, he can pretend to be happy, so as not to be a killjoy, and pretend to be emo, so he doesn't have to interact with people. He wonders if that's a good or bad thing, hiding 'em emotions. Only when he's all alone, and in front of God, then will he take off this oh-so-thick mask, and come naked and pathetic before his God.

Disappointment with the Self should only be kept to the Self, and not exposed to everyone around, it may very well hinder other's progress. One's expectations may differ from others, so if people start comparing, those with not-so-high expectations would feel inferior to those who have set their targets high. Sometimes, he feels that way. People all around saying out loud, in front of his face, "Shit, a C sucks! I should have gotten an A!", when he's satisfied with a D. Does that make him feel inferior? Not only is he a retainee, he's worked hard for this result, and there are insensitive people saying, "Wah, I never study also get C, you study so hard also no use." He hates these kind of people. All in all, others shouldn't be involved in your own epectations of the Self, because it's between the Self and the I, not the Self and Society. That's different.

Society is bringing about harmful things, violent acts, and vulgar voices. A taboo in the past, may very well be used freely on the streets nowadays. Something that is considered inappropriate in the past is now roaming the streets. Development has taken society to a whole new level. A level that some cannot bear to enter, because they still cling on to the past that they can't seem to let go, and thus falling behind, into the rustiness of the past, while everyone else is getting synchronised with the iPhone/iTouch and what not. Can't a guy keep his past? If everyone starts erasing it, where does his identity lie then?

2008-07-15T21:25:00.002+08:00

Today after school, i decided to come home alone and spend time alone. I know what you're thinking, emo right. A lil' lah. I just keep thinking of companionship, like so many thousand couples i see around, yeaaah, maybe i'm a biiiiit jealous. It's nice to have someone you can spoil y'know? Someone you can pamper, someone you can be vulnerable to. They always say must study first, i think that's bull. I think it's darn possible to juggle cca, studies and relationships all together, why not? I've seen many people do it. Sadly, it's not time for me yet.

Onto other things, today's class was, well, a tad too violent. People pushing around, people screaming, people crying. I sometimes wonder whether these bunch of people are really 16/17/18 year olds. Cos they seem like primary school kids to me. Got quite annoyed and disappointed, so Athiyah Eunice and I just sat in one corner of the class and kept quiet, we were too tired to do anything. Maybe I can't stand this anymore. And y'all wonder why i hate my class so much.

Okay, never mind about it already. I freaking ate at every break today! Even the morning one. So I had chicken+charsiew rice at 830am, Malay stall's pasta/macaroni at 1030am, chicken chop at 1pm, went home, ate a slice of cake and a bowl of koko crunch at 4pm, dinner with my mom, Subway, at 615pm, dabao-ed a footlong meatball marinara, had it at 8pm. OMG i'm still not full. I think this is the aftermath of yesterday's gym. I know what you're thinking, what the freak right!! Haha, i shocked myself too. LOL. I can still go on. I just cooked some pasta for tmr's break, save some money, hope it turns out good. I'm a food-aholic!

Save me from this road I'm on.

2008-07-14T22:28:00.002+08:00

So I got my results for lit today. I got a D. (: I'm quite satisfied. I know i say this every post. Hahahaha, i'm just repeating everything. But really, i'm really happy my new study method has achieved it's motive, better results. So for this year's MYEs, DCSDE. Not too bad. Better than last year. DUUUU. Haha. Today gym-ed with Zuokun and Zhikai, I came up with a workout plan during my break, and let Mr Yaw and Mr Ang modify it. They said it was okay, and really, we did until everywhere aching. Damn tired now. Anyway, I forgot to blog about this - that day Sunday, when playing soccer, the ball hit my chin quite hard, and i think i dislocated my jaw. I don't know how to tell. When i yawn, it hurts like hell, and when i eat, it hurts too. Basket. Very pain! I can't open my mouth widely, it sucks! AGH. Okay, off to do my Econs essay, making that 2 in 2 days. :D

2008-07-13T23:13:00.003+08:00

It's been great so far. I managed to balance my play time and my study time. Played soccer for the whole of yesterday, the Faith Methodist PPRSC Challenge Cup. I joined Gabriel's team, which consists of Victor, Eddy, Gabriel, Alden and Abiel. We got 3rd. I scored like 8 goals.. Haha. Quite satisfied. I'm now quite tan. Tomorrow PE, and gym training. I'm coming up with a workout for volleyball, so our PT will be on Mondays from now on. Anyway, today was bowling, and i was damn impressed with myself. 3 games with a total pinfall of 437. I was ranked 21, out of 136 bowlers. Not bad eh? Hehe. And also, I got an average of 140-something per game. Best record so far..

I've been thinking about alot of things lately. More of friendships and relationships. I've come to the conclusion that I am to accept who my friends are and not judge them or criticise them, cos I'm just a mere human being too. So I apologise to anyone if I've offended/judged/criticised you in one way or another.

MY DIET. I've been controlling my diet for the past 2 weeks, and I've been keeping to the canoeing food ban, and I must say it's quite crazy, I haven't eaten chilli or ice-cream for 2 whole weeks. Amazing huh. I felt damn healthy. But today my whole family wanted to eat Carl's jr. so i had no choice but to follow (anyway the canoeing team can break food ban already right), and i ordered the healthiest possible. Charboiled Grilled Chicken club. And I pinched a lil' fries from them. Heehee. And i ordered a milkshake. Okay, I freaking broke my foodban! AGH. But it's okay. I'll limit myself to at least once a month. That's okay right? And damn it, now I feel nauseous.

Gym training and PE tomorrow! Can't wait. :D

2008-07-11T23:21:00.003+08:00

Chapelton was the bomb man. It was awesome. At first it was a little boring, then after a while, when David hyped the crowd up, we just prayed and invited God into the place.. Then after asking everyone forward, we started Hosanna and after that, everyone sang their hearts out, all the way. I really really felt ministered just now, i mean, we only practiced once, and it's amazing what God can do with you, if you just lay it at his feet. Surrender it all to him, and he shall be in control. I really really felt his presence in the place, and just worshipped freely, with no burdens attached.

Midyears were not too bad. I know i keep saying this in every post, but i just want to remind myself how happy i am, so i can work hard and strive to get better results, to make me happier. Last year's results were terrible, this year was a drastic improvement. (:

GP - D (2007), D (2008)
CL - B (2007)
Maths - U to a B
Econs - very very low U, to an S
Literature - very very low U, one more paper's results to be released
Biology - ultimate low U, to an E

When i say very very low, it's like 20-something per cent, overall mark. And for Bio, it was below 20 per cent, i think 16, for overall. That's how terrible i was last year. And I'm proud to say it's a great achievement. But this is only MYE, and i can't be complacent, so I'm gonna keep to my studying method and just chiong for promos. I wanna get at least a C for alll subs, and an A for math!! (:(:

Anyway, onto the spiritual/emotional side, i think i'm becoming more and more emo. Like, I really don't wish to hang out with anyone anymore, and just be a chao mugger. I just want the results so badly. And I've been thinking about life and all again, I just don't know what to do, what I'm here for, what my purpose is, and as Mr Sas puts it, finding our fulfilment in life is a form of art, and without it, it's meaningless. This is what literature does to you. It makes you think, it forces you to come out of your oh-so-tiny brain and think and think and question and ponder, what the hell are you doing in this Earth and why are you living this life. There's ought to be more than this, what's next? What's new? I keep questioning, I need some damn answers! tsk tsk!

2008-07-10T23:26:00.002+08:00

It is inevitable that we all should feel separated, just that I didn't think it would be that drastic a change. Now going to trainings make me feel a lil' uncomfortable, cos I don't really know most of the guys, and also i don't hang out with 'em often. I feel like all my J2 friends are slowly drifting away. That's life isn't it. It's just quite sad, cos they have to study and study, while here we are busy socializing. Hah. I guess if I wanted to, I could study damn freaking hard, and promote with flying colours. A D for GP. Overall, I'm quite satisfied with my results, but I know i can do better. Cos I know i didn't put in a 100% effort for MYEs. For promos, I think i'll chiong. Classmates, please do us a favour and study! I don't want our class to split, I really don't. So let's all work hard together and promote. Remember our aim - to promote as a class. So don't give up yeah. 10 more weeks, just chiong.

I have so many things to do now, it's overbearing! Booth for sports forum on saturday, contact list for new volleyball members, results collation for all members, corrections for MYEs, tutorials that are due, chapelton tomorrow, AGH. I swear I'll start getting my act together next week, start mugging. And i'm not going to talk only, i'm really gonna revise and practice. So everyone, mug with me!

Cheer up! It hurts me to see you this way.

2008-07-09T22:32:00.002+08:00

For the past two days, I was nearly late, twice in a row. Yesterday, I was at school bus stop at 737am, with Eunice and Shazwan. I was like, shit! Sure late one. Buuut, we ran from traffic light to gate, and the Indian teacher was there shouting and screaming at us. Hahaha. Hilarious. And today, I woke up at 710am, when i set my alarm at 620. Freak man, can't believe i snoozed all the way. JOKE. Then, i didn't bathe, wore my contacts, and ran out of the house. I contemplated taking the train, cos it was damn dark, and started to drizzle, but heck, i wasn't gonna get my ez-link confiscated! So i walked the canal route. Damn, record time, less than 20 mins reach school. Usually takes about 25-30 mins if i walk at normal pace. Anyway, it started to rain quite a fair bit, and i was kinda getting drenched. And this really nice girl from 08S03, who was walking the canal too, came up to me and offered to share her umbrella. I was like, "wow, thanks!" She was really nice about it and all. I doubt if I were in other schools, no one would do that. Heck, other schools have shelters damn it. Anyway, just wanna say thanks to that girl. Can't remember her name, think it was Iris or Irene or something like that. :D

2008-07-09T21:01:00.002+08:00

I'm so damn happy. I got an E for my bio, something that i've failed all the way last year.. I'm damn damn happy. Econs wasn't that good, I've got an S. But still, all my subjects have improved by a tremendous amount this year, awesome. (:

2008-07-08T21:50:00.003+08:00

I'm going for another run to vent my frustrations and unhappiness. I'm so damn stressed up I tell you. Running keeps emotions away.

Run
Run
Run.

[/edit]

RAN.

I got back my Maths results today. It's a tad above expectations. I've got 35/60, and that's a C. An additional mark would give me a B, but I'm quite satisfied with the huge improvement. Last year I got what, 18/60. So it's a vast difference. Biology and the rest tmr, I'll try to stay calm about it.

2008-07-07T13:52:00.000+08:00

I just ran 12k in less than an hour. I'm quite proud of myself. Running keeps my emotions away. I felt really really good when i was running just now. Sorry about yesterday's bitch fit. I was just ranting and throwing out all my emotions from the past week. See ya pals.

2008-07-07T00:05:00.005+08:00

I really detest some people. Yeah i know I'm a loser and all, and people naturally don't ask me go out with them, but if y'all ask me to open up my house for y'all to play, at least have the decency not to make other plans damn it. Sometimes I feel like I'm a damn idiot, arranging and organising for people to come my house, when there y'all are, making other plans for yourself, and I'm the freaking backup plan. That's why sometimes I hate holidays, i hate to stay at home, and nobody ever calls me out. So life just sucks during the hols. I'm really glad it's over. If this carries on, I'm not going to open up my house anymore. And I really must say, this is the worse calss I've ever been in my 12 years of education. I hate it to the max. Honestly, retaining wasn't the issue, getting the new class was.

I just wish I studied a tad harder so I could promote with my old class. Anyway, remind me never to go out with y'all anymore. I don't wanna be a dog, following everywhere. Instead of asking, "where are we going?", i find myself asking, "where are y'all going? (so i can follow and not look like a loser who has no friends, who hangs out in town alone)" Sorry if i don't have your oh so hectic social life, where everyday someone else asks you out, and i'm sorry if i'm a freaking not-rich guy, who has to actually save up to buy the things that i want. Some people just have all the money, and all the friends. I'm just getting used to the damn life, where you can trust no one. And i'm sorry if i'm not as cool or as hip as all of you, and i know some things i'm kinda insignificant and lousy at, such as socializing, but not doing those things doesn't mean my life sucks. At least I have my morals, my church and volleyball mates. I'm not the spiky hair, flirt with all the girls and act gay with my bimbotic accent type of guy, and sometimes y'know, rugby isn't the only sport in PJ. So just stop boasting about it.

Call me a bitch, i don't care. I don't even know who to trust now, everyone's like gone. I never should have retained. J2s are a much nicer bunch of people. I just can't stand some senior J1s. This is what i'm feeling now and it sucks. TTM. I'm gonna drown my sorrows.... in sleep. Screw it all. BITCH.

2008-07-05T00:01:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday Ruth Leong! May God bless you richly! Sorry i'm a lil' late. :P

2008-07-04T23:47:00.002+08:00

Today, Eunice, Weijie and Sim came over to play basketball. Okay, it was just weijie sim and me. Eunice just stood there and watched. We were halfway playing, and got sick of it, so we spotted some Malay kids playing soccer, and we asked if we could join, they were like, pri 6 from Yew Tee Primary. So they came over to the basketball court and we played, 3 vs 6. They were quite good, although a bit small sized, we didn't even dare shoot hard. Haha, but it was fun. They were funny and quite cute, and really really skilful.

So after that, we watched videos on Youtube, mostly soccer and basketball stunts.. Quite interesting. It was then time for Sim and I to go to ACJC for Passion AC, some worship session. It was surprisingly good. Really had a close encounter with God, refreshing and great. I felt like all my burdens disappeared. And nice to catch up with some old friends.

Guys, keep next friday free. Chapelthon, 11th July, 630pm, FMSS. It'll be yet another session of praising God, and a refreshing time to get away from your studies. (: Refer to the poster in my previous post.. See ya!

To all canoeists, all the best for your competitions next week alright? Go, ROW LIKE HELL.

2008-07-04T00:03:00.002+08:00

I wasted so damn much money today. But finally, I've got Carrie Underwood's latest album, Carnival Ride. It's quite nice, and maybe I'm into country music now. Her voice is awesome, love it to the max. 20 bucks on CD, 7 bucks on movie, 5 bucks on Starbucks, 13 bucks on guitar strings. Ohmygod i'm broke. Second tanning session tmr, playing basketball. I'll try to exercise much more frequently now, since training will resume next week..

2008-07-03T09:27:00.003+08:00

Current Music - Gavin Degraw, I'm in Love with a Girl
Current Mood - awesome.

Hello people, I'm having a great 5 day break. Yesterday, I spent 6 hours in the sun. 3 hours soccer at Limbang with classmates and Yande's class, with Bok and Sim. Then after that, swimming with Shazwan and Ber Han. I'm now officially black. Tan to the max. So, movies galore, I've watched Get Smart, Wanted, The Hulk, and I must say, if I were to rank all of 'em, Get Smart would be top, Hulk 2nd and Wanted last. Haha.

Exams are over, but I still feel the damn burden of promoting. I think it'll be quite hard. Damn. Anyway, I'm gonna chiong already. Just heard my parents say that we MIGHT go USA in December. WOOHOO. Never been there in my life.

I'll be heading out to town later with 'em A06-ers! Finally, after like so damn long. I can't wait to hang out with them! It's been so long since we went out as a class. Later!

For you, I really enjoyed the times. Really, and I appreciate the things you're doing, it really means alot to me. Alot. So thank you. :D

2008-06-30T20:29:00.004+08:00

The things that are upcoming! :D

2008-06-30T18:02:00.002+08:00

I feel kinda happy. Played pool today, and I haven't lost my touch. ;) Haha, okay I'm just kidding. Anyway, I think i'm wasting alot of money, just going to starbucks alone costs me at least 10 bucks a day. I'm gonna have to stop going there already. No more! Shiwan you heard that? Haha. Tomorrow's the last paper, and I have totally no mood to study anymore, can't wait for tomorrow, after 10am, when I'll be free. Haha. I have so many things to do - swimming, gym, soccer... basically I just want to get tan. I really really want a tan! Tomorrow I'll go and get myself to be darker, and I'll be DARK, and happy. :D I'm gonna watch Wanted tomorrow too! YEEEAAHH.

2008-06-28T22:11:00.002+08:00

I'm actually feeling good about myself, now that there's only one paper left. Spiritually. But physically not so well. Just played 2 hours of soccer, and i'm tired to the max, and my knees are aching, and my ankle's a lil' painful. I'm getting old. Haha. I've been thinking, i want to enjoy myself in all sports, and to do that, I've to watch my diet, and not eat all that crap. So from now on, healthy lifestyle. I really feel nauseous after eating KFC, LJS or MACs. Pizza Hut and Burger King's fine. Subway's the best so far. And I just want to keep fit and healthy.. The only thing hindering me is my asthma and my knee. Argh, it's really quite painful. I think i'll go polyclinic, get some pills and pop 'em in. Glucosamine, that's what they call it. So, playing Xbox for 2 days in a row, and I'm still not sick of it, HAHA. But I really wanna exercise. Maybe swimming/gymming/running on Monday, and after my last paper on Tues, it's exercise and training TO THE MAX! Can't wait for training to start. I saw that they've repainted the court lines in the hall, and they've polished the floor! Quite happy, now it won't be that slippery. And btw, i think we're gonna have another trials for those who wanna join vball. Yeah! More people. (:

I've been visiting my grandparents frequently now, cos they don't have all the time in the world. You get what I mean. And the more I see them, the more I want to spend time with them, cos it kinda relives my childhood, and they're like the most innocent people in the world, with no masks attached. They're not caught up in this IT-controlled world, they have nothing important to rush to, they just sit on the sofa, watch tv. And i love spending time with them. But only for one set of grandparents, cos one pair stays a 5 min run from my house, and the other pair stays at bedok, an hour and a half journey from here. It's damn freaking far. But still, my Bedok grannie's the one who's been teaching me all the cooking, and now I'm pretty good myself. Don't believe? Try me. (:

I'm gonna run the Nike Human Race! 10k, my first ever marathon. Start small, and then half-marathon, 26k, then the real one at the end of the year, Standard Chartered, 42k. Till then, I still have the damn burden of one more paper - LITERATURE. AAAAAGGGHH.

2008-06-25T22:04:00.003+08:00

Dear Lord, please help me. Please save me from this mess. I really can't take it anymore. My life's really gonna screw up real bad. I mean, retaining one year is bad enough, now i feel like i'm gonna retain this year. It's so tough to study and excel, so damn tough Lord, when everyone's so damn smart. I've studied quite a bit for this MYEs already, yet I still feel that I'm not going to pass, and when i don't pass, I'll never promote, AGAIN. And then i have to go to the army, with nothing. No cert, no diploma, what, they're gonna care that i was v-capt that led the team to 3rd? Nah, I don't think so. HELP ME GOD. I'm getting left behind in this so damn fast-paced life. Tomorrow's literature and I don't know what to make of it. I'm tired of studying and not getting ANY results. Tired, God. I'm so damn tired. Just give me enough strength for tomorrow. That'll be enough, that's all I'm asking. JESUS, save me.

2008-06-21T01:36:00.002+08:00

I'm feeling kinda disappointed. It's a feeling that isn't unfamiliar to me, cos i've experienced it so many times. Sometimes I feel so damn insignificant, that nobody remembers me at all. Go to the movies, go for dinners, birthday parties, no one even bothered to ask me. And i was totally unaware of it all. Sometimes it's nice to be remembered you know? I'm wondering, if i died during the hols, would anyone even know? Would anyone even bother to care? So "I disappeared from the face of this earth", maybe cos no one bothered to remember me. I haven't talked to any of my classmates, except Eunice Ling, for 1 entire month. Really, sometimes i feel i'm being used. But heck, i'm not saying this for sympathies. I'm not going to hide stuff, i'll just be honest. I just went blog-hopping, and i saw so many photos with everyone i know inside, and i don't even know when it happened. That's what i mean about insignificant.

S'more with the talk of army coming up, and everyone has someplace new to go next year, i'm stuck here. It really really hurts that i can't graduate with this 06/07 batch. Life sucks.

I bet if i died the first week of hols, nobody would know till first week of school. or maybe they won't even notice i'm gone. I should try it one day.

That's why Bok, thanks for sticking around, now you know what i mean right.

2008-06-21T00:27:00.000+08:00

NEW BLOGSKIN!!! DAMN NICE. WILL BLOG MORE TMR.

2008-06-18T11:53:00.001+08:00

Congratulations to the Celtics for winning the NBA finals!! They're damn good man. (:

2008-06-18T11:20:00.002+08:00

Pizza Hut's Curry Zazzle Baked Rice

Joash and Nerine at TTB's Worship Night

We learnt how to draw this at the cartooning workshop at lit camp

Joash and Peishan

Zara at Pizza Hut

Zara and Lingxin

Lingxin

Nerine and Joash

Lingxin and Joash

2008-06-17T23:01:00.002+08:00

LINGXIN'S QUESTIONAIRE
1. Tell you why I befriended you.
2. Associate you with something - random, a song, a colour, a photo, etc.
3. Tell you something I like about you.
4. Tell you a memory I have of you.
5. Ask something I've always wanted to know about you.
6. Tell you my favourite user pic of yours.

LINGXIN'S ANSWERS

1.cos you were in a06!
2.dead or alive (:
3.you always encourage me!!!
4.at cck basement foodcourt and you had like a proper meal then you ate prata?? like omg. but tts wt u always do haha
5.how come you can be so bitchy at times?! hahaha
6.N/A hahaha

MY ANSWER TO LX

1. cos you looked the most friendly out of all the a06-ers on the first day of school
2. SCREAMING, hahahaha! and being a chinese-pro.
3. you always treat me nicely, and always speak up for me. (:
4. many memories - birdshit, then you ran and kept screaming non-stop. also, when you were playing winning eleven, scream non stop. when you are going for maths lesson, you always complain to me.
5. how can you stand ____ and still be so nice to him?? Go online and i'll tell you who. I think you know.
6. N/A also. haha.

2008-06-17T22:09:00.002+08:00

Hello! I'm now blogging on my laptop while watching teevee, hahaha! It's quite distracting actually. LOL. Anyway, alot of things have been on my mind lately, mostly, studies, religion and relationships.

I think all of us would agree that since now's the last week of hols, everyone's trying to mug their asses off to get ready for MYEs next week. Sometimes I feel that there's no more time, and that the amount of things to study is like hell lot, so sometimes the feeling's so overbearing that I just wanna give up, but then the more I think about giving up, the more I'm wasting time. Am I right? I think last year I've wasted enough time thinking about such things, and didn't really concentrate on the more important stuff - studying. So now I've learned my mistake, and blocked out everything to study my ass off for this MYE.

Religion. Being a Christian is tough, being a non-Christian is tougher. I'm glad God is there for me whenever I need him, and anywhere I go, he's there. Maybe sometimes I start to question some stuff, because of all the things that are happening in the world, all the earthquakes and natural disasters. I just think that whatever happens is for a reason. I really want to come back to God, I really want to be a true Christian. He's more of a friends person, with his priority as friends. Family is always a last resort, and family's where you get your money. I'm quite pissed off, that he would do things for his friends that he wouldn't do for his own family. A few examples. Just a visit to my grandparents, and he says he's not free. My grandparents from both sides are still alive, and I bet they haven't seen him in, what, 6 months? And I'm not exxagerating. I think the last time he actually made time to visit them was Chinese New Year. Even huge family gatherings, he doesn't attend. At least I still follow my parents to go visit them, and sometimes I jog over to my grannie's house, just to see whether they're doing well. Anyway, just the other day, his good friend dislocated a shoulder, and needed to go to the hospital. He wanted to leave to visit, when we were having Father's Day Dinner, and my dad was telling my mom, "That time I go colonscopy operation, he also never come visit me.." And I recalled, the other time, my mom was in hospital for a knee surgery, he didn't even bother going down to visit her. At least I made the effort.

He can say that he's in army and all, but he comes back everyday, because he's in PES E and is just a clerk. That gives him ample and sufficient time to spend with the family. Anyway, Saturday and Sundays are supposed family days, where twice a week we have dinner as a family, the 4 of us. But sometimes, he chooses his friends over us, and that upsets me alot. I'm very annoyed, cos he doesn't really treat us well. I've heard so many other people's siblings, go out together, have dinner with the family, blah blah blah. Y'know? Sometimes I just wish for a sister, either older or younger, and that would help me alot, cos I know females tend to be more family-oriented. Sigh. Life's like that.

Back to the gym work out, it's been nearly 1 month since I touched any physical activity. DAMN i'm fat! Alright, enough with the blabberings, I'm off to sleep, France vs Italy and Romania vs Holland. CIAO.

2008-06-15T23:36:00.002+08:00

Darn, I have to go to the polyclinic tomorrow, my left wrist hurts like hell. An x-ray would do good, cos I broke it once before, in pri 6. I'm afraid it's back, the pain. DAMN.

Collected prize at Yio Chu Kang, then n ow I'm back home, so damn tired. There's soccer later at 245am, so I'm gonna sleep now! CIAO.

2008-06-14T23:42:00.000+08:00

YES. Finally I'm using my laptop, it's really awesome man. Coolios! Haha, anyway, good news, we won Beng Hui today, 3-0. So we're 4th! BP got 3rd. Prize presentation tmr, and we're gonna watch the finals! (: KA vs St Hilda's Alumni. Interesting. See ya!

2008-06-12T23:44:00.002+08:00

IT fair today! Bought $2600 worth of stuff. Feel damn good now. So my mom bought for me a Sony Vaio Laptop worth $1699, and a Sony T70 Camera, $499, 3 Xbox games at $140, and Sony earpieces at $60. It's a rough estimate. So we got like 46 Lucky draw coupons. HAHAHA. Okay, proud to say we won Dunman Alumni 3-1! Yeah! Rockin' on man VS! Tmr will be the bbq, and now I have to try out all my games, and transfer a shitload of crap to my laptop. (:

2008-06-08T23:32:00.004+08:00

[/edit]

Okay I know I haven't blogged in a damn long time, but really, can't find the time, cos u-19s are all at night. Proud to say we got into the 2nd round, and we managed to beat both St Hilda's teams, C boys and B boys. The B boys were a damn tough fight, and proud to say I made the "save of the career". Really fly and land with a bang, but i saved the touch-out. Damn pain, but it's worth it. Ask the rest of the team, they all saw it, nice right? (:

PS: btw, that picture was AGES ago. The Fairfield B boys team of '05.

Okay, so here are the results.

1st ROUND
Lost Dunman Sec Alumni 2-0
Won St Hilda's Falcon (C boys) 2-0
Won Singapore Schools B 2-0
Won St Hilda's Pegasus (B boys) 2-0

2nd ROUND
Lost to Bukit Panjang Alumni 3-0
Lost to St Hilda's Alumni 3-2
Kelom Ayer CSC
Dunman Sec Alumni
Beng Hui

Today lost, but okay lah, BP alumni really damn strong. It's quite hard to play against my own JC team, cos they're really damn good, and it feels damn weird. But never mind, I'm quite satisfied with 2nd round, last year we first round knock-out. Lol.

ANNOUNCEMENT: All PJ volleyballers, bbq this friday at Mdm Chan's house, tentative date. Keep it free, most probably 5-10pm.

2008-06-05T14:56:00.002+08:00

Hello all! It's been so long! Okay, only 3 days, but it feels so long. LTC was quite good, I got to know so many more J1s, and so many other leaders. Labrador Adventure Centre, a lil' rundown, but not too bad. My group was quite good, very on. We had to pick a famous leader for our group name, so we chose Gandhi - no violence, world peace, and serve others.

Okay, I was group IC for the first day, and Xue Li was 2nd IC. I must say she's very supportive and very helpful. First day was damn boring, we spent almost 4 hours in the hall listening to talks after talks, and my back hurt like hell. After a while it got interesting. We went down to the parade square to play tug-of-war. It's the normal kind, except this time, 5 teams are against each other, so there was a centre, with 5 ropes sticking out. We lost the first two rounds, and the third round was damn funny. We tried something different. Instead of wasting our energy, we would focus all our energy on a first jerk. So once the whistle blew, we immediately jerked with all our might, and won the third round within 3 seconds. Amazing huh. And the fourth round, we won again, this time we tried it again, but the other teams knew already. So we hung on for like 3 mins, with other teams coming so close to winning, but we always managed to pull them back, and after one last final jerk, we won the thing, and came in 2nd out of 10 teams. (:

After dinner, we had a survival thingy, where it was a situational test. Our plane crashed, and we had to choose whether or not to stay or to trek. Majority chose trek, and all died. Secondly, we had to rank our items in terms of importance, with 12 items that were left on the plane. Sad to say, I was among the first to die cos i brought along whiskey first, cos I thought it would keep me warm, but they told us whiskey would dehydrate and make the stomach more hungry. Lol. Anyway, our individual efforts were bad, but once we came together as a team, we were better off.

First night, bunked with like 16 other guys, 17 per room. Damn noisy. After trying to sleep for 30 mins, there was a fire drill. Quite fast, commandant was screwed by Mr Kwok for not ensuring full strength of camp (attendance). Then went back to sleep.

2nd day, much more exciting cos the activities were all outdoor. We played a ring toss game where we came in 4th, and after lunch, it was high ropes element. Sad to say I only had the chance to do 2 out of 10 elements cos my team was stuck at a particular station for a damn long time. But happy to say that I completed both my stations in minimal time. I did rock-climbing and hanging logs. Three logs were suspended in midair and I had to cross all three. Very very shaky. The whole activity took about 4 hours, every group trying to complete as many elements as possible. After that we went for dinner at Pasir Panjang Hawker Centre, team by team.

On the way back, Hua Hui, president of the student council was appointed camp commandant, and I was appointed deputy commandant. Quite scary at first, but after a while I got used to it. That night on, it was hell for everyone. Our lights out timing was 1215pm, and everyone managed to tuck in.

415am, there was a fire drill. Apparently all the girls heard the fire alarm and rushed down, only to find no boys there. They thought it was an all girls activity, so they didn't really care about the boys. The biggest joke was, all the boys were still sleeping, and not a single one woke up, probably because all too tired, or because our bunks were further from the command post. So after a while, Mr Kwok and Mr Loke asked Hua Hui, where were all the boys? Hahaha. They sent girls to go wake the boys up, and the whole process took 11mins plus. Lol. Really big joke. The teachers told us after the camp that this is the first time in LTC history this ever happened. HAHAHA. Anyway, we were reprimanded, and had to do it a second time (nobody knew we had to do it again), this time with proper attire and equipment - shoes, torchlights and handphones. Many others couldn't take it, once they went back, they fell asleep immediately. I told my whole bunk, wear your socks first, get ready your phone and torchlight in case they do it again. True enough, 10 mins later, they sounded the siren, and all rushed out. This time, we took 6 mins plus. Again got scolded, cos some were not in proper attire nor equipment. So we had to do it a third time. Amazingly, we took 1 min 59 secs for the third time. That wasn't the end.

After that, they told us to go pack our stuff, bedsheets, pillowcases, harnesses and helmets, and report back at the parade square in 15 mins. I was like, what the hell, it was only 5 plus! Crazy man. We managed to do it, and surprise surprise, we went for morning walk/run/climb. We walked so fast it was practically running, and we had to climb Telok Blangah Hill, which was 4 km away from our campsite. All done at around 5, 6am. Being the deputy camp commandant, I was last man, and had to keep running. Reaching the hilltop, we were just in time for the sunrise, and we sang our school song (full version) twice, and recited the school creed twice. Because the first time wasn't good enough. People looked at us like we were mad. After that, walked/ran back to campsite by 745. I was damn freaking tired by then, cos we only had 3 hours plus of sleep. Crazy I tell you. After that, we split up into our various CCA groups, like sports and games, clubs and societies blah blah blah, to discuss goals for our own CCAs. Everything took about 2 hours, and after like 20 mins of debriefing and all, we broke camp.

Went with Gandhi to eat at Vivo, Carls Junior. I was half asleep already. Then took 188 back, slept the whole journey, and came home. Slept from 3-7, woke up for dinner, and went back to sleep, from 730pm to this morning 10am. Could have slept more, but had other stuff to do. Well, it was all a blast, and I enjoyed myself. Now it's back to mugging.

Park Dae Kyung, Zuo Kun, Yingjie, Edwin, Erin, Cassandra, Constance, Xue Li, Jaslin, Eunice, Amantha and Hua Hui, thank you guys for a wonderful time. I really learnt alot of things. Thank you all.

2008-06-01T19:18:00.002+08:00

So lit camp was quite fun, but very very tiring. The programme dragged till 230am. I nearly died. We played some sort of AmazingRace, but it was like find-the-murderer kind of thing, so we had to walk around the whole damn school for different stations to get clues to see who's the murderer. And hell, all the staircases were locked so we had to walk by the ramp like thousands of times to get to somewhere. Bloody hell. Shagged to the max. So I rolled around in flour and starch, ate biscuits covered in wasabi and flour, and bread with sliced chilli padi, ketchup and flour. I nearly killed the games committee i tell you. But overall quite fun lah. The best part of the camp was the cartooning workshop. I tell you the guy is seriously one hilarious thing. Considering he's the head of the Walt Disney cartoon something something (can't remember what it is), he's not that sane. He just makes up jokes and laugh to himself, and he doesn't realise we were laughing at him. HAHAHA. But he taught us how to draw cartoons, and I must say I'm quite proud of myself. Pictures up after camp. The highlight of the camp was spending time with the 07A06-ers. I really really miss them hell lots. It was great just to chill with them, and become crazy all over again, I really really enjoyed their company. And had Pizza Hut after camp too, pictures up soon.

Yesterday went to spend time with my family, watched Narnia with my dad and my bro. I didn't pay for anything. Hahaha. (: I think it was damn good, although it was quite predictable. There was this scene where it was just like the Israelites (good guys) crossing the Red Sea, and God killed the Egyptians (bad guys) by sending a wave over them. Darn cool. And God spoke to me during the show too. When Lucy saw Aslan when nobody else did, she didn't really believe, cos her siblings all didn't see him. She thought it was her imagination. But when she really met up with him, she asked him why didn't he let the others see him too. So he replied (I can't remember the exact words..), "Why didn't you believe? Why couldn't you come to me alone? Why did you let the others affect your belief?" Then I was thinking, maybe on some level, I have allowed others to influence me in my spiritual walk, and that was not right, cos it is supposed to be a personal relationship with God, not including others. So that was quite amazing for me.

Anyway, camp tmr again. LTC. Leadership Training Camp. So won't be around till Wed, but I think I'll sleep through Wed as well. Looking forward to it. See ya pals!

2008-05-29T23:03:00.004+08:00

I have decided that I wouldn't study till after all the camps are over. I think I deserve a break. What are the holidays for? To play my Winning Eleven at least 3 hours a day. (:(: I think I'll start mugging my ass off before the third week.. So we played another game today, against St Hilda's C boys, and we thrashed them. Rock on Volleysports! (That's the name of my team)

2008-05-28T21:54:00.006+08:00

Lingxin's lego maze. 1 whole hour!

The sun is surprisingly near. Funny, why's it still dark?

Lonely bitch

The grass is obviously greener on the other side

The sleek Honda Civic

Joash the driver(-to-be)

Steady hands just take the wheel

World Peace

Sneaky face ah Sim?

Sim's big shell

YY the Maths Specialist

My Secondary School

My Primary School!

2008-05-28T21:45:00.002+08:00

I'm so laazy to blog. So this is gonna be short. Match tomorrow, camp on Friday-Sat, soccer on Sat, Shopping on Sunday, Camp again on mon-wed. My schedule's so damn packed. DARN.

2008-05-27T10:11:00.002+08:00

So 25th May, Ernest's birthday. Sunday, we went to Plaza Singapura for Manhatten Fish Market. I tell you, I laughed my ass off. There were about 8 guys, Bok, Sim, YY, Lock, Yongkang, Shaun Chong, birthday boy, and me. We were served by the manager and we didn't even know it. So we asked him if there was anything for the birthday boy. So he winked and said, complimentary ice-cream. We thought it was for all of us, but actually it was only for Ernest. Anyway, I shared a platter for two with Yongkang, and damn, it was too much. The flame grilled prawns were cooool. It was kinda raw when they brought it to us, and they just grilled it on the spot with a flamethrower. HAHA. Really awesome. Anyway, Sebastian, the manager, sang birthday song with us, and he didn't know Ernest's name, and i think he only heard the back part of his name, so it was like, "Happy Birthday Bernard". We laughed our asses off. And after we ate and all, nobody dared to ask for the complimentary ice-cream, cos all shy. In the end, we asked lah, and only one cup of ice-cream for Ernest. We filled in the evaluation form, and gave the manager good comments. And we wrote his name as seBESTian. And under 'Other Comments', we wrote a poem.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue
Sebastian is great,
We love you.

Yes, go on laugh your asses off. I couldn't help myself either. So full, still laughing and laughing. Anyway, went to Cathay to catch "Chocolate". I swear it's the sickest show of all times. Everything's so real. And the girl is damn cool, she just learned fighting by watching people. She's just crazy. But not bad, I liked the fact that 70% of the show was action. So it's entertaining.

Anyway, just want to say Happy Birthday Ernest, thanks for the many months of friendship. Hope this continues.

For now, studying. Damn.

2008-05-27T00:34:00.002+08:00

Sorry peeps, haven't been updating for damn long, cos now a bit the sian already. But good news, BREAK'S IN AND SCHOOL'S OUT! Summer break, all the new stuff, awesome. Sales everywhere, I like! Sat went to adidas fair, but everything was virtually gone by the time we got there, but i got a Liverpool jersey for my bro, about $59 bucks. Quite worth it.

Sunday, played soccer at JJ's artificial pitch, in the rain. It's really damn good. But not good for the muscles lah, walao, aching like hell y'know, keep warming up, cooling down, just cramp to the max. Played a full 90 mins game, I think I ran like more than 6 km.

Monday, school in the morning, studied in the afternoon, and match at night. Under-19 tournament started today, and sad to say we, Fairfield Alumni team, lost by small margin. Sian. 25-27, 25-23. The Bukit Panjang Alumni team lost also, which is quite surprising. Anyway, now very very tired, training tomorrow, and lesson tmr.

On the way back home today, we came up with weird jokes that were related to MRT stations. I'll put them up tmr, i'm too damn tired now. See ya pals!

PS: GOOD NEWS. MY GRANDPA ACCEPTED CHRIST. AMEN.

2008-05-24T00:02:00.003+08:00

Fucked up.

2008-05-22T20:03:00.001+08:00

This is the video that 5 of us did for our GP project, and it's supposed to show the harmful effects of mass media. I think it's damn funny. Enjoy.

2008-05-21T19:38:00.001+08:00

2008-05-20T22:48:00.002+08:00

This Friday's our official handing over ceremony, dinner at Wisma Food Republic, and I must say I'm feeling ambivalent about it, I want to hang out with the team again, and at the same time, I don't want them to step down. So ironic, damn. This stepdown for them, is a rise up for me, being the most senior in the team, I have to stop my nonsense and lead the team to greater heights. And I just want to say that I hope that we will train hard and make the most out of this little time we have in JC, to not regret anything.

I've come to terms with the J2s stepping down, because of something that Mr Sas said in literature lecture today. "If the old don't go, the new can't come." I feel that's quite true, actually it was in the context of the poet, where he finally learns to let go and accept the things that come his way. If you can't change, for lack of a better word, destiny, then you must as well be mature and live with it, and better yet, enjoy it. And that's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna grace this ceremony thingy with upmost joy, yet at the same time I know I will feel upset about it, and maybe I'll tear, but it's okay, at least this shows that I'm human, not devoid of sentiments and feelings. If you don't know me already, I'm quite emotional, and I cry easily, just that nobody knows, and I hide it pretty well. And all my emotions are hidden under some sort of mask, all I need is one trigger, and the mask breaks, and I'll cry to the max. Well, I must say that the mask is quite fragile.

I feel so damn much for this team, because personally, I know that YY and I have took pains and countless efforts to try and build this team up, literally from scratch. With only 4 experienced players, we had to train up the other guys who didn't have volleyball in their vocabulary. And I must say they improved a tremendous bit, which made us very happy, of course. And the bonding within the team grew also, with our first outing last year to Sentosa without the girls, and that was the turning point. We bonded waay much, and skills wise, let's just say that beach volleyball trains one up pretty well too. From then on, it was high all the way.

After that, the next stop was Bukit Jalil Sports School in KL, Malaysia. We were freaking awesome there I tell you, that few matches were probably the best ones of my life, throughout my 'career' as a volleyball player, for 6 years running. That was really good, cos the bonds b/w the team strengthened yet again, and morale increased, and from there, we set our target, to be top 4. That 3 matches were the benchmark for our standard. That will probably remain in my memory for a damn damn long time, if not forever. The atmosphere, the togetherness, the team spirit.

Coming back, I was initially disappointed when the few that trained so hard to get to main team were cut out by the new intake of J1s, who were definitely more experienced, with 2nd as their highest achievement, in Bukit Panjang GH. (With 5 supposed to join us, only 3 remain, and I know that it wasn't by chance these 3 stayed.) But all that stopped, when YY sent us a 5 msg long speech on how we must respect coach's decision, and how we'll stick together as a team. I still have that msg.

Anyway after my fairfield juniors got their O level results, most of them had average scores, like 13/14, and probably could apply for ACJC, if they all wanted to form a volleyball team there. My previous coach asked me too, if I wanted a transfer to ACJC, cos if I went, they would have enough to form a team. I contemplated this for a long time, and finally decided to stay, cos I couldn't bear to leave the team, and after all that we've been through.

So then, start of A division, our first 2 matches were shit. Played like crap, I think I was the main catalyst, but anyhow, we still managed to beat them. We were all damn disappointed at our performances and knew we could do better, so after the matches, we did a real long and thorough self evaluation of the team, and sorted out our differences (trust me, there were many). And after that, it was on the highway to top 4.

Why did I type out all this? I just wanted to let you know how much we've been through as a team, and now you guys know why I feel so damn much for this team, cos we've really been through so much. So much, and I'll definitely miss all you people. Now nobody to laugh at my stupid jokes and crazy stuff I do in trainings. Really, these are the true moments that'll define my JC life, in a nutshell. To sum it up, it all adds to one thing - PJC VOLLEYBALL 07/08.

2008-05-19T21:21:00.003+08:00

Had dimsum for brunch this morning with my grandparents. Went all the way to Marina, cos they stay around there. So damn far I tell you. Okay lah, the food was okay, and once again I ate till my hearts' content. And now I have a damn belly. Studied at KAP with the homies, the most productive time ever, and met Kenneth for dinner after. And yet again, I added to the collection of belly fats by eating so much. I seriously need to go on a diet. And by the way, my aunty told me I gained weight, damn it. I feel fat and heavy, AGH. So no more excessive binging of food tomorrow, or ever again. I'll just end up vomitting it all out. See how it goes. I'm studying more than ever, and I'm consulting teachers more than ever. Hopefully this time, my midyears will be much better than last year's. And I'll finally enjoy the taste of promotion.

I guess part of life is moving on, and part of life is not having one to see you through all the time, so sometimes you have no choice to but make it out on your own.

2008-05-18T23:18:00.002+08:00

Sometimes all I need is a companion, and that doesn't necessarily have to be a gf. I would even appreciate it if even my older bro, would take time to talk to me, or at least spend time with the family. It seems now that friends are his most important people in his life. I hear people talk about thier closeness with their siblings, and I envy. Isn't it sweet, both pictures on top? All I'm asking is for either one to come true, and even the 2nd pic, a good friend, a close friend, would suffice.

Sunday May 18th 2008, 11:23pm

2008-05-18T22:55:00.002+08:00

Today is a sunday, but it certainly didn't feel like it. Anyway, i think i'm also drifting from my church mates. It's like either you're in, or you're out. Guess I'm out. I used to be in, until I starting hanging out with the out's to make them feel in, and bam! Suddenly, I'm out. It's like, you have to be cool to be in, you have to know how to play a musical instrument well to be in. Well, damn, I don't really care anymore, because I have a couple o' friends who really care for me. I don't want to put up a mask every week to go to church.

Well, met up with 'em homies today. Finally got a chance to chill, it's like life's so damn hectic already, can't even find time to watch a movie. So caught IronMan today, wasn't that bad, I actually thought the storyline was good. The explosions and all, yeah, waay good too. Didn't do much, except walk around and eat, and eat, and eat.

I don't know what else to say anymore, I don't know what else to do anymore. I'll just wait and wait, and let the world close in on me, while I drown here in my own little thoughts, and become so oblivious to the world and everything around me, goodbye people.

2008-05-17T19:34:00.003+08:00

Somehow I'm feeling the detachment already. Is it me, or am I really drifting further and further away from you guys, I just don't know what I'll do in J1, with all my J2 friends gone. I'm not close to my class, I'm not that close to my family, I'm not close to church friends, I feel like I'm drifting from y'all. I'm just gonna be an island and die. I feel like I have no more close friends, and that feeling sucks. Maybe I'm just oversensitive. Anyway, Laoshi told me I'm gonna be captain. Good or bad news, I don't know. All I know is now have to be much much more responsible already. Last year was slack. Lol.

So today was Past vs Present, and my team won the whole thing! Haha, so we won $40 Swensens voucher. Will wait for whole team to head down to Swensens one day, and buy ice-cream. Headed home after that, played xbox for 3 hours, then Lot 1 to dinner with my family. It's been so long since I ate with them. Saw them Pioneers, a whole bunch in fact, cos College Day just ended. Joke.

I'm eating DAMN alot now again, not caring about my diet cos tournaments are over, and I'm freaking spending a lot of money. I'm gonna grow fat and die.

I'm heading out again to Bukit Batok Macs, gonna meet Sim there to mug our asses off. Later.

Somehow I keep missing out on companionship, and sometimes I feel that being single sucks. But no choice. I want also don't have.

The time now is 7:41pm, and I'm still waiting for her to come.

2008-05-16T23:11:00.003+08:00

More important things happening in life now - Cyclone Nargis and Earthquake in China. If only we were humans once again to stop and stare at what's happening to our world now. Sadly, we're still going on with our lives, interested in nothing but ourselves.

2008-05-16T22:27:00.002+08:00

Today was a horrible day. Recounting the incidents would just make me even more upset. Which will add to the mountain of sadness I already have on my shoulders. Keep thinking about the team gonna graduate without me, and I just feel sadder and sadder, and I'm making the most of these opportunities to hang out with them as much as I can. Anyway, just want to say that sometimes I'm not the type of person you think I am, or maybe at times I am really just not in the mood for games, and sometimes I'm different. So please, before going around playing with people, just try to be a tad more sensitive first yeah? One of the things I hate most is people blaming me for things that I didn't do, and being unreasonable towards me.

Just happy that I managed to control my anger well today. Didn't do anything that I would regret. On the bright side, had dinner with Bok and Sim today. For $6.50 per person, it was really a meal worth eating. We went to Bukit Timah market after school, and we had the most sumptuous meal of all times. We 3 shared Hokkien Mee ($4), Satay Bee Hoon ($4.50), Cai Tao Kuey ($3) and Sting Ray ($8). After that headed to KAP for dessert, and studied for about 2 hours.

2008-05-15T20:31:00.007+08:00

Today marks the final day of the official A division tournament for volleyball. It's amazing how one year passed so fast. I still remember last year, when I came in for volleyball trials, and I saw so many unfamiliar faces. To think that all these "unfamiliar faces" would be my good friends, in and out of court. I'm really quite sad and disappointed now, because I would never ever get to train with them, on the same team ever again. And this makes me saddd...

Damn, emo already. On a brighter note, we had fun today, watching the 'boring' finals. It would have been more exciting if it was PJ vs NY and everyone in the stadium knew that. We are officially the only team that took a set off NYJC. Today they thrashed TJ 3-0. But oh well, no choice. We're stuck with 3rd, which is a very good achievement already. All cam-whored on the bus, and at Toa Payoh stadium too. It was quite fun, and the commentator is my best friend, this small guy who zhao sia at every other sentence. HAHAHA. They were all like, ehh, Joash, your best friend. Lol. Anyway, Sim and I wanted to try different designs for picture taking, and I was freaking annoyed when we weren't even allowed to take a proper shot, without some of the girls coming in to wreck our photo. It was all perfect, and they had to come in to spoil the thing. I mean, fun shot can lah, but afterwards. This is one of the best teams I've played volleyball with, and can't I take a decent shot with them? Is that too much to ask? Aiyah, anyway I got over it already, can't be bothered to get angry. Some people just don't know when to be serious. Call me killjoy, but i'm like that. And I was so damn upset when coach and laoshi ask me not to take with the J2s. Just because I'm retainee damn it. I felt like shit. SHIT.

So headed to town after that, with Bok and YY. I saw Mel Tan on the way, bumped into Evan at Wisma. Finally bought my CD - Jack Johnson, cos I had this 20 dollar Borders voucher for winning a poetry slam, with someone else dramatizing my poem out loud on stage. Anyway, YY bought his present for his gf, and walked around, and went home.

Just want to say this. Guys, you all know who you are, mentioned in yesterday's post already. It's been hell of a year with y'all. I've had so much fun, damn I don't want it to end. Just want to tell you all press on for A levels, even if some of you don't even feel like studying. Haaha. I will definitely definitely miss all of you, all the times we spent together. Really, all the times are treasured. Hope y'all will come back and train us, and I swear, next year, we'll be playing finals at Toa Payoh. The dream and legacy continues. It will not end here. So thank y'all once again. (:

Bok the builder

Shawn Joo

Transformer!

Zhenren and Chloe(Bird)

Why why - CAPTAIN

Denise (The-knees)

Erin, Sylvia and Me.

Shawn Joo again.

Ernest(A nurse)

Charmain Loy(my childhood friend's gf!)

ZhiKai - orpeht (read it backwards)

Weiliang

Jaguar (ironically the vegetarian)

Bok the builder

Ayleen and Amantha

MAY HNIN PHYU - my junior who played in the finals! so proud of you May!

J2s. (wah i not there, coach and lao shi ask me not to take, cos i not J2. after that damn sad)

PJ Volleyball Boys - A Division National 3rd

2008-05-14T20:01:00.000+08:00

I enjoyed myself tremendously today. Haven't been this happy in such a long long time. So today, we thrashed AJ, after they took us down in the 2nd round, and after they lost to TJ. After losing to NY, we pumped ourselves up again to clinch a 3rd place in the A division tournament. A team that had nothing last year, was 3rd this year. I think that's a huge improvement. One more thing. We didn't even play with our star spiker. Instead, Bok the builder (hahaha) took on his place, and put up an awesome performance.

Initially, we were all quite sian already, because 3rd bronze, 4th also bronze, no difference. At first I didn't want to give it my all, but after seeing us win the first set, I was all on fire, ready to win. We wanted our revenge, and we got it. We helped Yong Chee. Thrashed AJ 3 straight sets to nothing. The score was 25-23, 25-20, 25-20. I was damn happy. Really, jumping around for joy. Sim and I like siao geena like that, 2 small boys jumping and screaming away. But I don't care. HAHAHA. This was one match I truly enjoyed playing, and one that I was super super calm and composed, although coach said I could have controlled my emotions more. I think another factor was that this was probably the last time I would play an official match with fellow J2s. So I guess a happy memory would last longer than a sad one. The win came naturally. We all wanted it. And we got it.

Today's match revealed our strength as a team. As long as we did our individual stuff properly, encouraged one another and cut down on our mistakes, the victory would definitely be ours to take. And I'm quite happy today also, because given the little height that I have, I managed to block quite a number of balls, and spike them back one ball too. Moment of the day was a service ace. I was rejoicing my ass off, although i didn't show it lah. Damn hard to get service ace leh, especially for guys. Whoa, I just hao lian to the max. Hahaha, don't care. I did it! We did it as a team! Now, for the credits.

First and foremost, I want to thank God for seeing us through this whole period of time, from last year till this year, keeping us all fit and healthy for the tournament, and helping us to improve greatly. Some of whom haven't played volleyball in secondary school before, to playing first team in A division. I feel it's a great achievement, and I guess all I wanna say is, glory to God.

Not forgetting the authorities, Jiao Lian, Mdm Chan and Mr Yaw. Strict as they might seem, they're actually waay nice people deep down. Coach has been coaching us since we came in last year, and I must say he really had the patience, and the determination. His pre-match stories are a real morale booster. Not bad, because he always has a story to tell, and it just motivates us. Mdm Chan kept us disciplined and never did let us go out of hand. I think the discipline in the team improved alot also. Mr Yaw, just kept shouting by the sidelines, and pushing us. Amazing authorities, I must say. Awesome bunch of people. Thank you all.

The team. Each and every single one of you in the team played a very important role. From the captain, Yong Yao. He is one motivated dude, and after a year of leading, I've learnt from him many things, and I just say that he's a great leader, and he knows when to play and when to be serious. I know we both got shit from the teachers for not doing certain things before, but I must say, co-leading the team with you is a great privilege. Shawn Joo. Yi ben man hua, HAHA. (inside joke) Last year, he was pretty much slacking all the way, but this year, improved alot. His defense really is now stronger. Shawn the joker, always making me laugh, really. And the balls that he spike are damn freaking hard to block, which is good for us lah. I would never want to play against him, cos I know he's that good. Sim next. My fellow libero, and fellow 8.6s shuttle runner. All the times where we fight for first ball, train first ball, and giving tips to everyone on defense. I think you did a wonderful job in bringing the defense up, and I'm really proud of that. Always fighting to not let the ball drop, your sense of determination is one that is worthy of admiration. Bok up next, the builder. Haha, just kidding. On court you see him as the silent silent kind, but he always has words of encouragement to say to each of us. Another joker, his skills improved tremendously, from nothing, to something. I think the effort paid off. After just one year of training, being able to play like that is really, whoo, good to the max. Ernest. The guy who is slowly and quietly improving by the sidelines. Even though you didn't get a chance to play, I always appreciate his efforts to try to lift the team's morale up, and always hearing the constant shouting at the sidelines. Way to go. Weiliang. I know I keep bullying you, but really, I got nice to you before okay. Haha, at least I say in your face, I never backstab. Lol, anyway, okay lah, the butt of all jokes, but his blocking is imba. Good to the max. Everytime he go block, I scared, even the great Shawn cannot spike past him sometimes. Jaguar. The loyal devoted Chinaman vegeterian. Although he knows that he won't be able to play, he never fails to attend training, and even if it's helping to pick ball or what, he just comes always. Appreciate the effort, next time treat you Subway veggie delight. Tian Fong. I know we had some misunderstandings at the start of tournament, but I'm so glad we cleared it after the RJ game, cos after that, we just kept improving. LaoFuZi, the eagle, jump so high, spike so deep, just one flying thing. ZhiKai, the silent but most playful one. Lol. Thank goodness got you as setter, or else I die already. Too much pressure. Tall and crazy boy, always focusing...... on girls. HAHAHA. Yeah lah, but always trying to find ways to win the game. Distribution of balls good. And fang qiu, earn many points. ZuoKun. The Transformer whose hand can be stretched to the max. Don't know how he does it, but he's one damn good spiker. First time see him, i scared. Whoa why this guy can bing biang. Just jump super high, and fellow 282cm SBJ jumper. Good to bully also. Hahahaha.

After saying so much, I just want to say that I enjoyed myself thoroughly through this whole year, and just one funny crap, all the nicknames we gave ourselves.

YY: why?
Joash: Joke-ass
Shawn: Man Hua
Jonathan: Sim/lee-beh-row
Boon Kai: Bok/Volleybok/Goldibok/Footbok/Basketbok/Kai/Kai-ster
Ernest: A Nurse
ZiQian: Jaguar
Weiliang: i don't know, what was his nickname?
Zhikai: orpeht
Tian Fong: LaoFuZi/Eagle/Mustache man
ZuoKun: Transformer/Catface

Tomorrow many many tests, and collect trophies! Tomorrow then thank supporters, I tired already. Lol. Okay? This post specially dedicated to teachers and players of PJC volleyball boys team 2008. ((:

2008-05-13T22:36:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow marks the last game of our season, and I wouldn't settle for anything less than a 3rd. It'll be super emotional tomorrow, especially for me, seeing all you guys graduate without me. But it's okay, just enjoy our match tomorrow, and after that then come and emo. Just thinking about it now makes me sad already. Gay as it may sound, I'm really gonna miss you guys. Let's talk about this tomorrow, let's not spoil the mood shall we?

2008-05-12T21:22:00.002+08:00

Today's match was excitement to the max. And in the end, we lost. Sad, sad. Actually it wasn't all that bad, until the part where we kept losing points, and the part when Zuo Kun twisted his hand, when diving for the ball. Really, wasted. At that point, I really felt like crying already, because in the matter of a few minutes, everything just fell like that. Just fell apart. We totally lost control. Anyway, quite shocked to see the principal, Mrs Tan herself, come down, along with 5 other HODs. Quite shocking, cos they actually took time off to come and watch our match.

Played 4 sets today, and we're the first team in the whole of Singapore to attain one set from NY. And they played really really well today, so we had nothing to say. Tiring, and exhausting, it was hard to focus when the body is tired. And especially when so many people are cheering for you, it's just hard to concentrate. Made a couple of stupid mistakes today, really regret. But now must look ahead, cannot live in the past. When we shook hands with our opponents, NYJC, I sincerely thanked them for the match and congratulated them. This is one of the few times I actually did it out of sincerity. They were the better team, and honestly, they have good sportsmanship, and are truly worthy of a place in the finals. I have nothing but respect for them. Same goes for TJC. Heard that they won AJC. They were trailing by 2 sets to 0, and after picking themselves up, they managed to fight back and win AJ 3-2. Amazing stuff TJ. Again, nothing but pure respect for them. These are the types of teams that are truly good.

Picked up many injuries today. All minor, but add together, become damn painful. I think I twisted my left knee a lil', it hurts when I walk. And my right ankle is just one gone case. And today, when I went to dive for the ball, landed on my left hip again, DAMN. Just one big bruise now. Really damn big. And the right shoulder's been giving me problems for quite some time already. I think the muscle's tearing apart. Ultra painful. HEAL ME SOMEBODY. :/

Big thank you to the volleyball girls and the seniors again, who never fail to support us. (:

2008-05-11T19:49:00.003+08:00

Mother's Day today! Somehow I feel that it is as commercialized as Valentine's Day. All the flowers, the jewellery, blah blah blah. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating, but yeah, only on this day will people show appreciation to mothers. Other days, they just take 'em for granted. Proud to say I don't. So accompanied my mom for lunch today at Holland V after church. Had Ipoh Hor Fun, and Frolick for desert. And something else, went to this pastry shop and bought some pastry. Heard from so many people that it's damn good, so decided to try it out. And i'm eating it in front of the comp now, and IT'S DAMN GOOD. Especially the blueberry cheese pie. Really really good.

Anyway, came home for a nap, and met Evan for dinner. It's been quite long since I met with them homies. June hols aight. So tomorrow we'll be playing our game. I'm still so damn jittery, I really need peace. So i'm gonna sleep now, and get up to watch Man Utd's final game of the season, against Wigan, and if they win, they'll win the title. ZZZzzzzz, bye guys!

2008-05-10T22:54:00.003+08:00

Today's training was quite fun. Although it wasn't under the most ideal setting. This could probably be our last training together, if we don't manage to win NY. But I'm quite confident that if we play our best, we can pull this off. If we win, we'll have one more training left, with the J2s, for the entire year. It really saddens me. Why can't I graduate with you guys? Damn. Anyway, now isn't the time for emotional things. Today was fun in the sense that everyone was damn high, including the coach. He kept making us dive for every ball, and he, being the coach, led us by setting an example. He went around running for any balls that we didn't receive properly, and using his leg, he'll kick it back to us, or he'll start jump-spiking us when we were defending. Seriously, this is one of the times coach is as crazy as us. It was like a bug. Once he started, everyone else started. If you managed to look inside the hall just now, you would have seen a bunch of guys diving around, laughing their asses off and shouting here and there. Seriously, it was super super funny. Coach today really high.

Anyway I don't want to keep talking about volleyball all the time, so I've decided to vent some frustrations here. I'm kinda irritated when people start not taking responsibility for their own learning, and their own homework. I'm sick and tired of having to tell people what to do, and how to do things when they themselves don't even put in the effort to learn! Damn it, is it my results or their results? Here I am slogging my guts out to put in a 110% for my volleyball games, and trying so damn hard to catch up in my work, and there they are, slacking in the canteen/cafe and messaging me everyday to ask me how to do this, how to do that. Really. I'm so frustrated with it all. Damn it, I have 4 tests next Monday, and I can't take all 4 cos of Semi-finals. So guess what? I'm taking all 4 on Tuesday. So i'm just gonna fail and DIE terribly, with everyone oppressing me from above.

Today went for band practice also. Sometimes I really don't like being told what to do, or how to play a certain song. I have my own style and you have yours. Why should I always follow yours? I think I definitely have more experience than you in playing the drums. You should just stick to what you are supposed to do and focus on it, instead of going around everyone and instructing them what to do with their instruments, because honestly, I think you haven't grappled yours correctly yet. So before you teach others, perfect yourself first. Can't be perfect? Then don't instruct others damn it.

Phew. I feel better. But still not too good. I'm already feeling jittery for Monday's game. Damn it. We'll need a shitload of stamina, so I'm thinking, 2 x Red Bull + 1 x Banana + Team talk/motivation = Victory. I'm telling you, once we win this, we'll be able to go to the Finals, with ease. I just want to relax my mind now. Good bye everyone.

And rumours are screwing my life up. Screw it all.

2008-05-09T23:16:00.003+08:00

So this is the time when we all are busy lagging behind tests and tutorials, yet we have no mood to do no shit cos the whole mood's about volleyball and nothin' else. So now, it's just training, matches, training, matches. So damn tired already. I really can't wait for it to be over, when we finally get the champion trophy. Bleah. For now, it's mugging time, and some fantasizing about Toa Payoh. So my mind's closed until further notice!

2008-05-08T20:59:00.002+08:00

I'm seriously damn happy now. We are finally in the Top 4. We are one more step closer to our dreams of Toa Payoh Stadium. Honestly, I learnt alot of things from these few matches. Shall talk about them after the whole tournament is over.

Today saw us playing against VJC, and trust me, the many times we played friendly with them in school, we kept getting thrashed, and we were like always demoralised cos everytime lose. Then before the match just now, our coach told us that he heard one of 'em saying that they wanna thrash us. Then I was thinking, dan gu gu ah!! (hokkien for wait long long). So although we didn't play to our maximum ability, we still managed to beat them. We thrashed them flat. And i'm not saying this out of complacency, i'm saying this out of sheer confidence, and today was one match I played that I could walk out of it, knowing i did my best.

Also, today, Hwa Chong beat Anderson, and I'm really glad for them, cos they really played well today. They helped us take revenge. ((:

Let me share with you guys something that really amazed me today. I initially was quite scared this morning, all jittery because I was so afraid we would lose. So in the bus, I prayed. I prayed a simple prayer. God, you know how I feel about all this. You know how much I love volleyball and how much we all want to win. So I pray that you'll grant us the victory today. Then I stopped, remembering that my pastor once preached about being specific in your prayers. So after much thought and consideration, I continued the prayer, being highly specific as possible. God, I pray you'll grant us the victory of the score 25-18, 25-18. And I saw one of the most amazing miracles in my life. During the match, I placed full trust in God, and played to my best. When we won, I saw the score, and I was truly shocked. The score was 25-18, 25-15. God gave us more than we could have imagined. Isn't that awesome?? I was really really happy, and know that it would serve as a good testimony for the others. This once again proves that God, the all powerful God, is able to do things that can surpass our minute dreams and imagination. Thank you God.

A special tribute to the volleyball girls, and the seniors who never fail to turn up at each and every game. Just want to say thank you all for believing in us, and just screaming your lungs out for us. Thank y'all.

Monday, semi-finals against NYJC. We have come this far, I'm still not satisfied. I want more. This isn't what we aimed for. We are aiming for Toa Payoh! So c'mon guys. We can do it. For now, a good and well-deserved break. See ya homies!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!! (:

2008-05-07T20:57:00.002+08:00

Thank God the kids at the orphanage are fine! My mom received an sms this morning, and she forwarded to me. It really made me less anxious for them. Don't really feel like blogging now. Going off to rest for the big match tmr. VJC vs PJC.

Happy Birthday Chloe!

2008-05-06T23:23:00.002+08:00

Thinking about today's game makes me cry.
Thinking about the Burmese and how they're struggling with life made me cry even more.
Thinking about the orphans at Grace Home (The orphanage), and how I may never get to see some of them ever again makes me cry much much more. I miss them like hell. Really.
Thinking about the crazy work pile I have is not helping.
Thinking about the stupid education system in Singapore makes me frustrated.

Today sucks.

2008-05-06T19:46:00.003+08:00

A greatly disappointing game today against AJC, we totally lost control. Everyone played badly, and if anyone's to blame, it is us. We ourselves blew it. But it's okay everyone. Sometimes in life, there are wins and losses. You can't possibly win all the time. Sometimes losses come our way to give us a wake up call. Just to refresh you what your goal is, what you are playing for. And this clearly is one fine example. We lost by a narrow margin in the first set, but the second one was way horrendous. 25-22, 25-18.

Everyone felt very down, and some even cried. I too was very very upset, and it didn't help that Coach kept screaming at us. But anyhow, we deserved it. And this, shall be the last of these kind of things. From tomorrow onwards, we will get our act together, train hard, and beat VJC on Thursday. I know we can do it. We can do it, we MUST do it. No other option. For today, everyone just go home and think about today's match, and think about how badly you want to win VJC on Thursday. I'm quite emo now too. Can't be blamed. Just focus on our goal, remember our dream! Finals at the Toa Payoh Indoor Stadium. Keep pressing on guys!

Anyway, all the best to the netball team, against SAJC tomorrow. I know you girls can do it. The crucial match, keep your cool and play well as a team. It is all in your hands. Don't give up. It's not over till it's over. So press on and give it your best.

I've heard that the death toll in Myanmar is over 10, 000. God have mercy on them.

2008-05-04T21:21:00.007+08:00

http://www.straitstimes.com/Latest%2BNews/Asia/STIStory_233885.html

Guys, this is really important to me. Those of you who are christians, please pray along side me yeah? These pictures were taken 2 years back, when I went on a mission trip to Myanmar, Yangon and Bago. I just saw the news that a cyclone has hit the whole area, destroying buildings and uprooting trees. I'm really afraid for them, PLEASE pray for them okay? Look at the orphans. They find so much joy in the littlest of things. All i'm asking is a simple prayer. Please. I really feel for them, I spent 7 days at the orphanage, so please, do me this favour alright? Thanks.

2008-05-04T19:44:00.000+08:00

I've only had two meals today! So proud of myself. But both are extremely sumptuous meals. Went for breakfast with my parents at Tanglin Halt today, and wow, I really ate alot. I had laksa, kaya toast, bee hoon, one chicken wing and teh bing. Ate until I nearly want to vomit. Haha. But seriously, everything there is good, so confirm must try.

Had ample time before 11am service, so just hung around the lift lobby and talked to the band. I had to play for service, so had to be there early enough to set up and pray and everything. I played like crap today, but never mind, I know that God looks at the heart, not the skills.

So after, I headed home to study, since nobody wanted to accompany me to KAP to study. Lol. Did about 3 hours of literature, then played a while. And I read Chloe's blog, there seems to have been some sort of quarrel misunderstanding, apparently people aren't happy at her post! Hahaha, it's really one big joke. I nearly laughed my arse off, cos it's really a small matter being blown up.

So in lieu of next week's Mother's Day and my Dad's birthday that's on the 8th, my family and I went to celebrate, yet again, at Jack's Place. Personally I don't mind going there cos I love the steak and the salad, and I can eat till I'm so bloody full, and I'm not the one paying, hahahah! But anyone else who knows a better place for beef steak, please let me know okay? (This is where the tagboard comes in handy.) So what did I have - Jack's Salad, Lobster Bisque and a Steak and Catfish Combo. I cleared everything damn it, I have a huge appetite. Now I'm darn full, and I'm craving for some ice-cream.

I'm all hyped up for this tuesday's match against AJC, and once we win this, it'll be top 4 for us. I really can't wait to win this. I can already feel the adrenaline surging through me. That's probably the only thing keeping me going during lessons. Haha. I really need a break man. Teachers, please give us a break. We're gonna win trophies for the school, just be lenient with us for this period of time, okay?

I'm a lil' confused now.
I'm a lil' uptight now.
I'm a lil' nervous now.
I'm a lil' tired now.
I'm a lil' playful now.

Off to play. See ya pals!

2008-05-03T22:52:00.002+08:00

I sprained my pinkie today. Super extra painful. It's swollen. DAMN. Everytime i block, for some reason or another, the spikers always aim for my pinkie for a touchout. Damn it man. Ouch.

On the bright side, Man Utd won West Ham 4-1. One more game to league champions!

2008-05-02T21:26:00.008+08:00

The escalator to nowhere...I think Peishan wanted to go up.

My lovely cross neck chain, and a lighter that doesn't light up.

Look at the Fee. $107(Inc. GST) I just laughed my arse off.

The plastic bag copy Ferrari. Basket.

My long awaited THE BUNDLE.

My Dad bought this yesterday, watched and laughed like hell.

Okay Huimin gave this to me, not my fault. Chloe has one pack too. JOKERS.

Seems like the volleyball guys love green tea alot.

My new pearly whites, which are now dirty already.

A prank that Shazwan wrote, on the board for notices to Sports people, just one joke.
FYI, Cindy is our canteen cleaner. And we all call her Aunty Moley, well, cos she has a mole.

My home. YEW TEE.

I love these TTM!

Devotion Material, super good.

My favourite chocolates. They rock TTM.

I am unable to express my joy. We won Hwa Chong today. It was more than a win. We totally tore them down. I am elated, overjoyed. After the match, I just kept screaming and shouting. I was so damn happy. We are one step closer to our final destination - Toa Payoh Indoor Stadium A Division Finals. The first set was a lil' bad on my part. I kept losing points, and I let the team down. Guess I owe you all an apology. Coach had to even call a time-out in the starting minutes of the game, and he shouted at me. I felt quite bad, because I also kept stealing balls from other people, again, I apologise. After that, I got my act together. In addition, we had great team spirit, and they were very encouraging. From there, we made an incredible comeback, trailing by 6 points, we won consecutive points and won them the first set 25-19.

In the second set, we were already quite happy, and quite satisfied with our game, and we just kept our cool and played to our best. The constant shouting and the cheering of the fans were truly amazing. They just kept us going, and when we displayed great strength in all our areas - defence, blocking, spiking, setting, they were unable to break our "fortress", and we boosted our morale in the first few points of the 2nd set, thrashing them below five points. After that, their morale dropped to the max. We could see clearly that they had no more motivation to play. From there, we showed true talent, and in the end, thrashing them 25-11. That was when I nearly felt like crying. It really really felt very surreal to me. Like I was floating, and it was all a dream. That was when I heard everyone expressing their joy, I knew we had done it. We had beaten Hwa Chong.

I am beyond happy, yet deep down inside I knew I didn't play well today. Coach's shouting is still nagging inside me, and I'm so afraid I'll let the team down. So people, I will need all the encouragement I can get inside the court okay? Thank you. And I also know it's not over. Next match against Anderson JC, I know we can do it. Let's just play to the max of our abilities, and show everyone what we're made of. I know most of the referees aren't on our side, so we have to prove them wrong. We're the underdogs. We're the black horses. One more win, and we're in the top 4. Sounds good? Definitely.

There are a few people whom I want to thank especially. First and foremost, the most important of all, I want to thank God for seeing us through this far. I know alot of the team aren't christians, it's just me Sim and Shawn, but still, i kept encouraging them to pray (Charmain and Chloe also) and I told them, whatever the result, just thank God and honour his plans. Everything for His Glory. And truly, today he has provided victory. I am extremely happy to the max. Thank you Jesus. Really. True gratitude from the bottom of my heart. Everytime I'm nervous or anxious, I just pray, and this amazing feeling will just come upon me, like as if His hand is upon me, and I'm free from any burdens. Amazing stuff. (:

Secondly, I want to thank the coach, the volleyball girls and the seniors for their constant support. Coach has been encouraging us, and before every match he'll give a motivational speech, and say, "Wo dui ni men hen you xing xin. (:" And also, without the girls, training has been really quiet. There isn't anymore joking around already, and it is all dead serious, only once in a while I'll crack a joke. But it's just different y'know. And everytime it's my turn to serve, I walk to the service line, and I can literally hear each and everyone of them saying, "Go Joash!" And truly, it makes me want to play harder. Their screamings, their banging of the floor, just lifts our spirits and morale. Thank you people.

Thirdly, I want to thank the teachers from PJC, who are too many to count. Everytime they hear me make an announcement (which I'm now famous for by the way), they'll automatically come up to me and say, "Good job Joash! Continue to fight hard! (:" And really, it makes my day somehow. And everytime they praise us as a team, I really don't know what to say, i don't want to appear too cocky, and also quite shy. Like our principal Mrs Tan, who will always ask me what announcement I'm making, and then I say, "Oh, er, we won yesterday. Against ____". Then she'll say, "Well done! Whoa this year very good ah. How come you all keep winning?" I just keep quiet, don't know what to say. LOL. But still, all this makes my day. (:

Fourthly, I want to thank the netball team, some of them who keep encouraging us. They are just awesome. Everytime I see them in the canteen and we have a match on that day, they'll go like, "JOASH! Must win today okay! Jiayou!" and then a high-five. I always smile and say, "Yes, we'll try to beat them." As I said, I'm quite shy. Hahaha. I'll do my best to support the netballers also. GO PJ NETBALL!

Lastly, I wanna thank everyone else whom I've forgotten to thank here. Classmates, and school mates, you know who you are. And my parents too! They always call before a match and encourage me. Amazing huh! Thank you all. I know what you all thinking, not even the finals yet, this Joash start thanking everybody. Well, I just want you all to know that I really appreciate every single encouragment and support, and gratitude is important. So I'm thanking all of you here and now. THANK YOU ALL. Love you guys man. ROCK ON TO FINALS!

2008-05-01T21:07:00.002+08:00

Stayed over at Bok's house yesterday night to watch soccer, and sadly, Liverpool lost to Chelsea 3-2. I was so pissed can. Not that i support Liverpool, but i hate Chelsea. They have good players, but all their attitudes suck, and they're way too complacent. COCKY. Coach always taught us, if we play good volleyball, we cannot be cocky. We must be humble. And i don't see that in them.

So after that some classmates came over to play the Game of the Year - Winning Eleven 10. As usual, I thrashed everybody. ;) hahahaha. Okay, i'm damn hao lian. Anyway, after that, I accompanied my mom and dad for dinner, they wanted company, their anniversary today. So we went to NYDC for dinner at Wheelock's. Ate till want to vomit y'know. The cheese was like filling to the max. Had Irish something something for dessert, alcoholic. Haha. It was supposed to have Bailey's on it, but I couldn't taste anything. Damn.

Anyway, bought my long awaited Crumpler The Bundle just now. 43 bucks. Worth it. Pictures up soon. We went on a shopping spree just now. After that went to Marks and Spencers to get cookies and tarts and gums and sweets and chocolates to stock up in the house. (: Then, went to Borders, and I persuaded my Dad to buy the Rush Hour Trilogy DVD Set. Haha. Amazing stuff. One of my favourite movies. Actually, 3 of my faves. Partially cos there's Jackie Chan in it. And Chris Tucker is one funny thing. Just watched the third episode, and I'm still laughing. Spent quite alot of money today. But still, there's this burden in my heart to be able to help the poor and needy. What do i do???

Anyway, this morning when i woke up, my mom called me. She told me my grandpa was in hospital again, cos he fell down in the toilet. DAMN. Please pray, all you brothers and sisters out there. Thanks!

2008-04-30T20:03:00.004+08:00

Ran my 2.4 today during PE, which is a retake, cos the last time i failed terribly. Made a huge improvement this time. Did an average of 1 min 30 secs per round, and i ended up with 10mins 8secs. Not too bad already, kinda aiming for 10.

The bloody weather is just getting hotter and hotter, and damn, it's so so humid. Training today without the girls. Felt a lil' awkward cos it was a tad too quiet. But still we continued training lah. And not sure if it's the weather, but everyone of us were all so lethargic and unwilling to move, we played like crap. Coach was quite disappointed. But anyhow, we still trained till about 645pm. That's when the good news came in.

I checked my phone for the time, and saw 2 missed calls. It was Marlene. I was freaking nervous, so I quickly called her back, hoping to hear good results. I called her, the first thing she said was,

"Ash, I don't know how to tell you............
...
...
But we won by 3 points. Such a close game, and we scored the 3 points in the last minute."

Tell you, I was damn happy for them man, they really fought hard. That's the way man. Perseverance, never giving up. You'll definitely see results. Could hear the joy in Marlene's voice. I really am glad for them. Woohoo!

So Friday against Hwa Chong. But for now, R and R. So damn tired. Well deserved break.

Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad!

2008-04-29T21:46:00.002+08:00

So, the girls lost today. It was a damn close fight i tell you. I was so happy when they won the first set, but subsequently they lost the next two, which brings them out of the competition. DAMN IT. This is for you volleyball girls. I want you girls to know that this was the best match you all have played, and I'm really really proud of you all. All the trainings and effort put in to train you all was not wasted. Today you all did what we(me sim coach and jason) taught you, but height wasn't on our side. Whatever the case, I really am happy that you all performed to your best, but sometimes people lose too. So cheer up, alright? Don't worry too much about it. ((:

After the matches, the draw began and damn, our grouping's the bad one out of the two.

Group A - NYJC, TJC, SAJC, TPJC

Group B - AJC, HCI, VJC, PJC

F.Y.I. NY was last year's champion, AJ was 2nd, TJ was 3rd, HC was 4th, and VJ was 5th. We were not even in top 8. LOL. But still, coach has very high hopes in us. We are like the underdog team. Waay underdog. The Black Horse. Whatever you wanna call it. We are gonna go to the finals i tell you. GO PJ!

First match against HCI, this Friday, CCAB, 345pm. C'mon down and support us people! We need it. Thanks!!!

2008-04-28T19:22:00.003+08:00

Today was a horrible horrible day. For both GP and Lit, half the class was standing outside. For GP, it was because they were all late. Apparently, all the boys (7 of us) were right on time. Amazing irony huh. Lit was much worse. The whole class was standing outside, all except for me. I was pretty much quite afraid, cos he was really angry, but okay lah, learnt alot of things. It was like tuition. 1-to-1 tutorial. Hah. Thank God I did my research.

Anyway, gym for PE after that, and played ball with Erin, Ernest and Joanna. Quite tired now. But no choice. Last week I've been skipping so many lessons because of volleyball that I'm waaay behing schedule for Math and everything else. Die TTM.

Anyway, the netball girls came back today with great disappointment. Could see it in their faces. Netball girls, this is for you. You all have been training hard since God knows when. And I've seen the way you all played in KL, quite amazing stuff, and I'm sure with more trainings and at home ground, you girls are alot better now. So cheer up, don't worry too much about today's game. Put it behind, learn from it, and thrash NJ on wednesday. I admire your team spirit, your perseverance, attitude and mentality for the game. Go girls. You all can do PJ proud. (:

2008-04-27T19:41:00.003+08:00

Went to bb macs to study today. Unfortunately, the one beside West Mall is under renovation, DAMN. Met Pei En there, she too was pissed at the noisyness of the place. It's size reduced by half. So it's darn small now. So I asked her where else to mug, she brought me to the other bb macs. In the centre of the heartland. GeHui was there, so i studied with the both of 'em.

Sorry about the other day. Terribly bad mood at that time. So many problems. But now i'm hiding it in the corner of my mind, it's much better. Trained for 6 hours yesterday, damn freaking tired now. Finished a fair bit amount of work, not too bad.

Talked to Pei En quite a bit today. I'm amazed at what she's doing in church. And the things she sacrificed to reach out to the community. I'm impressed, and I'm ashamed of myself. What am I doing? What have I been doing? Nothing. DAMN. I've gotta start somewhere. Lord, tell me where. Keep my flame burning God.

2008-04-25T21:36:00.004+08:00

I'm terribly upset and disappointed now. Just shoot me will ya.

And no, I'm not going to be emo here. I'll just hide in my sorrows.

Screwed up. I'm effed.

[/edit]
Work is piling up yet again. Many many assignments due next week, and tests that are upcoming. So what if we have it all? It would just all go to waste. Nothing in life is real. Everything is fake. No matter how hard you try it to be. Everybody is fake. We are all dust. Nothing's real. I hate everything. Screw it all.

2008-04-24T22:14:00.003+08:00

We lost. 25-22, 25-22. Tough luck. It was a very close fight. At least the rest of the opponents now know our strength as a team. We are not to be under-estimated. Last year, 1st round knockout, top 16. This year, we want the finals. Today's atmosphere was like the finals man. Awesome. I am very pleased with today's performance. C'mon team. Play like this every game, and we'll win for sure.

It was actually quite funny today. There were 2 ongoing games. And our court was filled with spectators and supporters. I was told that the other match, nobody was watching. HAHAH. Poor things. Anyway, just want to give a shoutout to all the people who came to support us today. THANK YOU ALL. The atmosphere was awesome. Just awesome. The cheering, the whacking of the floor, the screaming. THANK YOU!

I lost my whole set of uniform. Think i left it in the toilet. DAMN. :/

[/edit]
I just really want to thank God for the things he has granted us. Although more than half the team aren't believers. Okay more than half. It's just me and Sim and some other girls. I want to thank God because I asked him for a victory, and this was already a victory, if we see this optimistically. We played extremely well. Thank you Jesus. Glory To God. Amen.

2008-04-23T21:49:00.002+08:00

Guys, tomorrow is the match of the year already. Let's give it our all. Today we trained till 8 plus for this. Everything we ever had, we'll throw it down into the game. Okay? We have nothing to lose, they have everything. So give it your all and don't ever give up, or have the mentality. We are a team. We'll do this together. See you all tmr, sleep early and have a good night's rest. We need the energy tomorrow. And all the focus. Let's not disappoint our friends. (:

NO FEAR, BECAUSE GOD IS ON OUR SIDE.

2008-04-22T22:59:00.002+08:00

We have a dream. That is to reach the highest of the highest. To get into the finals of the A division tournament, and go to Toa Payoh Indoor Stadium to play. And that will be decided by this thursday.

Anyway, we played 2 games already. Although we won both, we played really badly. Partly my fault. I was a terrible setter. Really really bad. Sorry guys for pulling you all down. Okay emo stuff aside. Today we went to watch the girls match and I was very happy cos they did what i told them to do. And they won! Really really happy. They all played well, with a few occasional mistakes here and there.

So far the work pile is not too bad. But it's gonna increase much much more, and at a faster rate. dee-why-dee-axe equals to infinity. Haha. I'm doing differentiation so much, it's brainwashing me! Darn. The life's been good so far, just too busy to blog about things. So it's short and simple.

So what's going on now, is looking forward to playing against NY this thursday, because we're gonna have quite alot of supporters going down to watch. Mustn't disappoint them. We can and will do it. Go guys.

Another thing is, I'm trying to keep my white converse sneakers white. Damn it all you people who "acciddentally" step on my shoes. Go and die please. Today Jiali stepped on it, and I slapped her, and punched and kicked her. Just kidding. But that's what's gonna happen to you if you dare "accidentally" step on my oh-so-pearly-white shoes. I will manhandle you personally.

See you, punks.

2008-04-19T23:39:00.003+08:00

So guess what? Went to school today for the Higher Education Day. I enjoyed myself thoroughly in the SMU talk because the guy was entertaining, and he got his message across too. The NUS talk was waaay boring, I read my book. I'm reading Angels and Demons by Dan Brown again, cos it's super nice, and it's been so long since i read it. Anyway, studied in school while waiting for Sim and Bok, and after that headed out to Plaza Singapura to catch The Forbidden Kingdom. It's super corny, but damn bloody humorous. I laughed my ass off. Really, Jackie Chan's character was soo lame. Here's an example.

The Monk of Monks: We must find the elixir quickly in order to save his(Jackie Chan) life. I will send the walking monk to find it now.
Jackie Chan: Don't you have a running monk?
*LMAO

Okay anyway, I just came online, and some of my classmates added me into this highly childish conversation. C'mon girls. Stop quarreling already. It's no big deal really. JC's all about bitching in the face, and let's face it. We're gonna be a class for 2 years. So must as well bitch in the face and accept everyone for who they are then to bitch behind their backs and put up with false pretenses. RIGHT? So you know who you girls are, just stop bitching around and grow up. This issue you're quarreling over is honestly no big deal. Nothing important at all. So stop it.

Anyway. I bought my white converse sneakers. (((:

2008-04-18T22:52:00.002+08:00

The stress and the work is piling up like nobody's business. I'm really feeling the stress, and I'm damn frustrated, I keep getting angry for no reason. All the crazy projects(especially lit), and now trainings have intensified because of the competitions.

Well, I just want to give credit to a few groups of people who're distinct in my life, and just for the record, I'm having a ball of a time in Pioneer JC.

1. Pioneer Volleyball

You guys rock. Seriously. The only time I get my mind off work is when I'm in the hall playing volleyball and acting like some crazy ridiculous guy screaming and shouting my ass off. Honestly, I'm the joker in my team. Because the workload in class is piling up like mad, the only stress relief I have is volleyball. Guys team, we are seriously rocking kick ass man. Because you all are so tall, and we are super bonded, I feel very very united with you guys. We just need a lil' more shouting in court, morale booster yeah?

Girls team, we really want you all to play well. That's why we get so annoyed everytime you all don't play well. We really really want you all to win. So press on. And seriously? You guys are one big joke. All you jokers make us laugh like hell. So thanks for the laughter and everything that comes along with it. (:

2. 07A06

I don't really see you guys that often, but everytime I see you all, I feel so very happy, you guys may not know it. Because you all are another crazy bunch I went to class with for one whole year. You guys make me feel happy. (:

3. 08A03

A new class, a new adventure, you guys are a rockin' bunch of people. But i feel you all need to chill man. Everyone so emo, everyone angry at the same time. Lol. We'll pull this year through okay? With no retainees. And no distractions in class please. I really really want to listen. (:

Anyway, we played against RJC today, and we won. (:
1st set 25-10
2nd set 25-11
Not too bad a score. Okay i'm seriously getting very tired. My parents are in KL and i'm stuck here with my brother. So ciao, off already.

2008-04-17T21:16:00.003+08:00

The Calming Sea

The sunshine's bright
My soul has died
We then shall see
What's left of me
Going far far away
To the docks and the bays
Maybe swim across the seas
Underneath the pure, white geese
Away from the motions
And the crazy competitions
To see who will thrive in academics
Or maybe, who'll get the best chicks
And life as usual,
unto us they'll fail
Bad stuff happens to good guys
The bad guys, they always get nice
Let us face the unfair life
And into the sea, we shall dive
Away our sorrows forever more,
Until we find another shore.

Joash Lee (b.1990)

2008-04-16T21:39:00.001+08:00

Bloody hell postponed our match to Friday. Oh well, guess i'll have to keep the hype in for one more day. See ya pals. Gonna go all out on Friday to beat RJ. Cheer for us if you can. Later!

2008-04-15T21:47:00.003+08:00

Oh. I forgot to blog about something that made me... well, disappointed. Or mad, I really don't give a damn anymore. It was PW results that day, and boy, I was so not looking forward to it because I knew the sucky grades that I'd get. PW last year was effing hell. I dreaded the effing group meetings(if there were even any to begin with), and most of all, I dreaded doing effing everything myself. And what did I get in return? 2 of my PW mates left for poly. F/#@!

So, here are the results.

1st group member, D. (poly)
2nd gm, C. (poly)
3rd gm, C.

Joash Lee (retainee), sucker of all times who freaking did ALL the work and slogged my ass off just to keep 'em from trouble and sacrificed much of my study time for the bloody reports and the other shit that we had to do, got a fucking D.

Anyway thanks to the 07A06-ers who were concerned about how i would take it. I'm fine thanks. It's really bullshit, cos you guys know how much i did. Oh well, examiners must really be blind. Nothing much to say anymore.

2008-04-15T19:00:00.003+08:00

So woke up damn freaking early today to do my e-learning. Finished it in about one and a half hours. Not too bad. Then I met Bok and Sim and we went to swim. (hey it rhymes!) And we swam for like an hour plus, many many laps. So damn tired i tell you. Could barely walk after that. Okay I'm exaggerating. But guess what? I've got a tanline on my thighs. If you wanna see it, come find me. ;) Just kidding. I'm not that gay can.

Well, proper swimming after like, 10 years, feels good again. The way you hold your breathe underwater, the way your body floats, the way you feel the hot sun and the coolness of the water, mashed into one feeling against your skin. Damn. I think swimming was the first official sport I've ever gotten into, and that was probably the start of my "sporting career". If I remember correctly, I think the highest grade i've gotten was a Gold. Didn't make it to Gold-star. But still. I can swim. Hahaha.

Tomorrow will be the start of everything. Training at 5pm, till late. And we have our very first match on Thursday, against RJC. DAMN I'M EXCITED. Till then, it's healthy living. No fried stuff, no chilli blah blah blah, and no soft drinks. Just to maintain the stamina and keep the fats low.

PJ Volleyball is gonna own your asses man. Watch out.

[/edit]

Well, thinking about stuff. Like religion, christianity. I've seemed to lose all my christian friends. Friends who used to encourage me. Friends who used to tell me to press on and not be influenced by the world. I used to have people telling me not to give up living for Jesus. Caring for me and asking how I was doing in school and stuff. Now? On the contrary, the perfect irony, it's the non-christians that are waay more concerned for me. Where are my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ? Am I just living a life that's not worthy of the calling anymore? Am I going to be cut off from the spiritual world? And bloody hell, it's not helping that we're studying Boey Kim Cheng's Another Place, cos he's just a poet who keeps slamming Christianity, and sometimes he makes some sense too. Because he's stating all the questions that I'm asking now. About life, about everything. Where does this lead to? So many questions, so little answers. I'm taking it one step at a time. Goodbye for now.

2008-04-14T19:29:00.005+08:00

Me
Lissa Me
Me Kimberly

Birthday Boy Joshua Lim and Me
Hosea, Val, Me, Aaron
Me and Yunxing!
Me and Natalina
Jacq and Joshua's Pinata
Me and Evan
Val, Jiayi behind, Me, David and Hosea
Evan Me Lissa
Joshua's b'day cake
Jacq's b'day cake

Valerie And Me.

Valerie(crazy woman), Me and Jacq

Valerie, Me and Evan.

Hosea, Me Valerie

Me Valerie

Night life
Ticket for Planetshakers and Tim Hughes

2008-04-13T19:52:00.002+08:00

I am super duper ultra mega extra TTM tired. Came home after 12am for the past 2 days. And waking up before 8 both days. Really really shagged out TTM man. Can somebody just shoot me. So we celebrated Jacq and Joshua's birthday on Saturday at East Coast Chalet. Was supposed to go for LingXin's party at Jiali's house but training freaking ended at 3. From 8am. Crazy man i tell you. I was so damn tired i just went home and rotted my ass off.

Today studied for about 4 hours straight with Ernest. Quite productive. But still have s'more to do. Anyway i'm gonna sleep now, and watch the Man Utd vs Arsenal game later on at 11pm. Later, dudes. Pictures up soon!

2008-04-10T23:31:00.003+08:00

My dearest Lingxin. Here's wishing you a HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY. Thanks for all the times we had last year, it was craazy as hell man. I really enjoyed your long-lasting screams, your complains about art, and all that came along with you. Really. We talk occasionally online, and haha, it's quite funny cos we gossip alot. I always feel comfortable when I talk to you, both online and in school. (Most of the time in the canteen, when we're having our really long breaks. HAHAH) And yes, you can come over my house anytime to play DOA or Winning Eleven. Really, thanks for all the craziness we have in school, and I sincerely honestly enjoyed all the times we spent together. (: Happy Birthday Lingxin. Love you.

2008-04-10T22:09:00.002+08:00

Watching American Idol - Idol Gives Back now. It's a Charity show where all the stars of Hollywood come together to perform and request the whole of America to donate to save lives. And believe me on this one, it's really touching.

It makes me wonder what I'm complaining about. I have food to eat, I'm in the pink of health, and I've education. Most importantly, I have family and friends that love and care for me. What more do I want? We always want something more, don't we? Give you an inch and you request for a yard. Human nature.

Today I flared up. Everyone was shocked. I don't know what got into me. And I apologise. Sorry people. I'm a changed man. Really. I'm not who I am anymore. WHY? I don't know.

Someone save me.

2008-04-09T21:39:00.003+08:00

If only she knew...

2008-04-08T23:14:00.003+08:00

Once again, i'm kinda happy today cos i've gotten back a few minor tests. 14/18 for Econs mock test, and 15/20 for GP QTK test. I just want to pat myself on the back and give myself some rest for the hard work done. But no, this is not even major test. Tmr will be the real Econs test, thurs GP essay test, and Fri - BIO "KILLER" TEST.

Random mood swings, Shazwan was telling us why he so emo the past few days, and i found out it was freaking related to me. Not because i made him emo, but some r/s prob, which was linked to my previous r/s. DAMN IT. He had to bring it up. The more i think about it, the more i want to kill myself.

I'm happy today cos i met up with Yunxing for dinner. And we talked ALOT. as in really alot. So much so that we had to talk about _____ again, and I got frustrated at _____ yet again. just pissed me off. but we talked about enjoyable things too. Like volleyball. Hah.

Talking about vball. Tmr's against IJC. Hope we'll thrash them flat.
Get well soon Sylvia.

TESTS, TESTS and TESTS.

ACK.

2008-04-07T22:13:00.003+08:00

I'm feeling alot of different things today. But I shan't say it here. Only the good ones though. Very happy cos I've got 8/10 for my first math test, and there's one careless mistake, so should have been 9/10. DAMN. Don't care. Still very good. Haha. This week's test week, so i'm determined to do well for all my subjects. Nothing much to add. Just the crazy adrenaline rush everytime i think of playing against NY. Really hope we will win. And hope we have supporters. Anyway nothing much to blog about, except a get well soon wish to Sylvia, who fractured her leg on Sat playing against CJ. Get well soon! I have tons of photos, but i'm too lazy to upload them now. Gonna study for my upcoming tests. Later, dogs.

2008-04-06T19:37:00.005+08:00

THIS IS AN URGENT ANNOUNCEMENT.

A REQUEST FROM ME AND MY TEAM, SPECIALLY TO ALL FELLOW PIONEERS.
WE HAVE AN IMPORTANT MATCH AGAINST LAST YEARS CHAMPIONS NYJC.
WOULD APPRECIATE IT GREATLY IF YOU ALL COULD COME DOWN AND SUPPORT US.
THIS IS THE DECIDING MATCH BECAUSE IF WE WIN THIS, OUR CHANCES OF GOING TOP 4 WILL INCREASE TREMENDOUSLY.
DETAILS UP SOON.

VENUE: CCAB
DATE: 24th APRIL
TIME: TO BE CONFIRMED
MODE OF TRANSPORT: PROBABLY CHARTERED BUS FROM SCHOOL

2008-04-05T22:14:00.003+08:00

Damn. I'm stuck to the routine. So i think i'll be blogging. Cos i'm too lazy to handwrite my thoughts and feelings onto pen and paper, so this should suffice. I feel so damn tired now, don't even feel like playing for service tomorrow. Although I know I have to lah, or else i'm screwed. I just want to play volleyball, listen my music, hang out with the guys, fall in love with her, and get married and live happily ever after. Whoa, life sounds so simple all of a sudden. Bitch. But it's never the case, often the opposite. Ah screw it. I'm starting to feel enclosed up in my own little world again, where no one will understand what i feel. So guess what? I'm going to retreat to my own thoughts and leave all of you wandering outside. Later sluts.

Random thought: Suasage Mcgriddles with Egg is DAMN FREAKING AWESOME.

2008-04-05T22:05:00.003+08:00

Once again, a milestone in this blog's history. This is officially the 300th post. Damn. I really feel like closing down this blog for the time being. I'm so sick and tired of blogging and blogging, and making myself feel worse. Although the pictures kinda reflect what i've been doing, I seriously don't know why i blog. To get people's attention? To make myself famous? To make people like me? I don't know. At 300 posts, it's hard to say. Let people know more about my life? Maybe. Why? I don't know that either. So, 300 and counting. If I never blog again, it's because i can't find a good enough reason to. But if i do continue, it's because i'm stuck to the routine of things, and find it hard to not blog.